Happiness is...Squirrel Watching

Nick is in New Mexico for a couple days this week, and we definitely miss him around here for many reasons.

Not the least of which is squirrel watching.

Just about every morning before work Daddy opens the blinds and he and Alexa look for squirrels in the open space outside our house.

It's magical.

Love you, Daddy!

Happy Birthday My Beautiful 2-Year Old!

Yesterday was Alexa's birthday and it was such a wonderful day! We started out opening a couple presents...

Then we had birthday pancakes...

Then we went to Barnes and Noble to find an interesting book...

Then we had lunch at Panera Bread...

Then we visited Daddy at work...

Then we took a nap (while mommy made dinner and birthday cake-brownies-thing and stopped taking pictures)...

Then we played in the sink water and got soaking wet...

Then we had dinner with the missionaries consisting of some enchiladas, some beans, some rice, and A LOT of sour cream...

And then just before bed we finished off the party by video chatting with grandparents in our princess dress.

BEST. 2ND. BIRTHDAY. EVER.
 
(You may notice she's wearing a few different shirts. We changed clothes a total of three times and wore four different outfits. Princesses are pretty high maintenance...what did you expect?)

Happiness is...A Walking Christmas Tree

This is how we have gotten our Christmas Tree the past 3 years: it just walks to our house!

Haha! We're so funny! No, those are Nick's legs, and he carried our tree from the local high school back to our house just a couple of blocks away.

Alexa and I walked with Daddy, which was pretty funny sometimes!

We tried the wagon, but the tree wasn't having it, which is okay when you've got Superman for a dad!

We really love our tree! The End.

Sharing is Caring

Here Alexa is trying to share a delicious delectable delight with Daddy, but Daddy knows better!

We had other delicious delectable delights yesterday when we shared our Thanksgiving holiday with our friends, The Parkers! It may have been the most delicious meal I have ever eaten!

When biological family is inaccessible, we turn to our friends in our neighborhood and create a new type of family -- one not connected by blood...hmmm...not a terribly new concept for us!

Our family is so grateful that we get to see Alexa's birth family tomorrow and share some of the holiday season with them. It is so wonderful that we get to be around all sorts of family during this time of year!

How special it is that we get to spend one day a year thinking about all the ways our lives have been blessed, and too avoid an obscenely long post I won't list them, but let me just say, our hearts are so full!

And just so you're aware, it is now okay to listen to Christmas music! YAY! No one is happier about that than I am, but you got to respect Thanksgiving by not listening to Christmas music before today. It's not Thanksgiving's fault it doesn't have music!

Have a wonderful weekend celebrating the beginning of the Christmas season! God bless!

C'mon Next Little Miracle! Mommy Misses You!

I admit it, right now, at this very moment, my heart is sad. I love Alexa more than I can say and I am completely in love with Nicholas and cannot express how much meaning and light he brings into my life.

But right now I am really missing our next little miracle. I want to make him/her a little stocking for Christmas and fill it with wonderful little Bambino goodies! I want to hold our little Sneetch and cuddle with him/her with one hand and type a completely different post right now with my other hand.

I want Alexa to love and dote upon her little sibling. She is going to be SUCH a good sister...and a little ornery for sure, but that's to be expected.

I want Nick to have a little boy buddy or to be swarmed in a house full of girls! He is SUCH a wonderful father and any child would be so blessed to have him as their Dad-dad!

Recently when a friend has shared their happy pregnancy news or even their happy adoption news (which I usually get more excited about, even when my heart is hurting a bit), I still feel happy, but then an immediate aching begins. My heart gets so confused at those moments.

I know we've only been approved for the second time since August, but I can't tell you how many times I have wished that the unknown number on my phone was a potential birthmom. Really, it's every time. I know we are probably only at the very beginning of our journey to our little Sneetch and we have a long way to go, but that knowledge does not help me temper my emotions at all.

In fact, none of the blessings I have mentioned help ease the aching or homesick feeling I get when all I want are my babies to be with me. I can wait until it's right, but I wish that the right time comes very soon...and that wish and the thoughts and feelings that accompany it make my heart ache so much!

I think I thought this go around would be easier, just because we've done it before and are used to wanting our children with us. We're infertility veterans, so I just assumed I'd be able to deal with this aching better over time. I suppose in some ways it definitely is easier because I know adoption works and that is extremely comforting. I don't want to discount how much I trust the adoption process and the Lord's timing in putting our family together and how much easier that knowledge makes this adoption experience easier.

It's also easier because Alexa is here and being a Mom at all is such a blessing...one I wasn't sure I'd have during the first time adopting. How grateful I am to be a Mom!

But the heartaches are not easier, and the longing for my babies who aren't here is not easier. And the increased longing I feel around the holidays is not easier.

So this rambling post is just a plea to the world wide web...because where else can I make this plea that makes anymore sense? My plea is this:

Hey next little Miracle, our little Sneetch! Please come to our family soon! Your Mommy misses you and wants you home! And bring your birth-family with you, because we miss them, too! I love you more than I even know or can understand, and so does your Dad-dad and sister! See you soon, kiddo!

A Letter to My 1 Year Old

Dear Alexa,

Daddy and I love you very much and can't believe how much you have grown! It's hard to remember our life before you, and impossible to imagine our family without you. We love Ray and Melissa very much and are so grateful for the decision they made a year ago to let us be a part of your life. There are no words to express how much they love you, so they placed you in our family instead. What wonderful people they are and they wish you the happiest of birthdays also!

The pic on the left was taken exactly one year ago, and the pic on the right was taken today.
Just as a side note, Nick is totally wearing the same shirt in both pictures! What a steady guy I married!

I want you to know that we have had such a fun year together! You absolutely love to sneak up on Daddy or I, but don't particularly enjoy being sneaked up upon. You are insanely ticklish and when the time of day is just right and Daddy or I get just the right tickle spot you get these really crazy eyes and smile and laugh, which is one of my favorite games to play with you. When I need to do dishes or work in the kitchen or to do my makeup or hair you are always right at my feet ready to help! When I actually need to get some things done then sometimes I have you watch this sign-language video which you do happily. You always laugh or talk or giggle when the sign for "baby" comes on because you love watching the babies. You don't like to miss a beat, so you've never been really great at sleeping in public. You are a super fast crawler, and you can stand for just a few seconds, and really don't have much of an interest in walking since crawling is working just fine for you so far. I imagine that, just like you did with crawling, you'll figure out a good reason to start walking and pick it up in no time flat! You want to be a big kid so much, so you just love playing with kids at church that are a good 2-3 years older than you, even if you get hurt on occasion. Your favorite foods are crackers, cookies, and rice--our little grains girl! You love to turn pages while Daddy and I read to you, so you love The Foot Book and Hop on Pop because there are not many words on each page. You also have a fetish for the That's Not My...(Puppy, Monkey, Dragon, etc.) books and you know where to touch on each page. We had a monkey-themed birthday party for you and you really enjoyed your banana cake and playing with everyone who came to celebrate the wonderful you!

Here is a link to the banana cake recipe I used and here is a link to the cake design I used (chocolate covered raisins for the nose and tootsie rolls for the hair were the only changes I made).

Watching you grow this past year and being able to be a part of it has truly been the greatest joy of my life, and doing it all with Daddy only makes every moment sweeter. I can hardly believe you're one, and it scares and excites me as to how quickly it has all gone by. I know you will continue to amaze Daddy and me in all the wonderful things you do throughout your life, and I look forward to everyday I get to spend with you from now until forever. You are my favorite little girl, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to express to you how much myself, Daddy, and your Heavenly Father love you.


Happy Birthday, Alexa!

Love Always and Forever,
Mommy (or "Mom-mom" as you prefer to call me)

Top pic was taken exactly a year ago and the bottom one was taken today.

Snowed In

I don't think it's ever happened before, but we were literally snowed into our house today. With an accumulation of somewhere around 12" and a drift just beyond our driveway of about 24", when Nick did try to leave, he got stuck and we had to push the car back (mostly) into the driveway. That just meant that instead of being busy doing all sorts of things outside the house, we got to focus on busyness inside the house.

And occasionally inside-the-house-busyness leads to tickling!

Don't you love that they're making the EXACT same face?!

And sometimes it leads to kissing.

Being snowed in is nice in someways...until we run out of milk.

Fahion Forward Friday

Yesterday I came home from the gym (so long 6.2 LBS) to find Alexa already woken up and dressed by her wonderful daddy! One of the two of them, if not both, is very fashion forward because I never would have put this pair together.

Alexa does seem pretty excited about the exciting ensemble! Happy Friday!

10 Million Strong...and Growing

So we've reached it. Aly is 6 months old (as of about 12 days ago; it's been busy), and she just had her 6 month check-up, complete with measurements and immunizations, on Monday. The results: she hasn't changed, just got bigger.

Height: 25.75 in. (50th percentile, just like at 4 months)
Weight: 13 LBS. 10.5 OZ. (10th percentile, just like at 4 months)
 Developmental: on track (she doesn't want to intimidate the other babies with her genius just yet)

One thing our doctor said about her development was that her waking up at night was overdue and it is time to teach her to sleep through the night. Color me naive, but I was hoping she would just figure that out on her own.

 She was doing well with sleeping at night up until about a month ago (she'd only wake up about once a night), and then we went on vacation and then came home and started using the baby monitor so I could hear her over the AC unit we installed. I look back and realize I just should have listened to Nick and believe that if she really needed us, we would hear her. Blast!

So last night was night one of letting Aly cry and not go in with her or feed her. We hope this training doesn't take too long because, frankly, that was the worst night sleep ever! I laid awake listening to her and then when I was almost asleep I would feel guilty that my baby was crying and I wasn't doing anything for her. I know the end result will be wonderful, but I think our stubborn little girl is going to give us a bumpy ride!

PS Remember that Flinstone's Vitamin Commercial? Ya know what would work--a piano bench! If those kids were really smart they'd ask mom for one of those!

We Are Family, I Got All My In-Laws with Me!

Okay, not ALL my in-laws, but many of them.

Anyway, we're in Arizona this week at a reunion with Nick's family and are so excited to be here! We've got Pinewood Derby races, softball games, dancing, eating, talking, playing, and just generally a good time in store!


Have I mentioned recently how much I love my in-laws? Probably not recently enough, so here it is: I love my in-laws! Such wonderful people, every last one of them!

So, this will be the last post you see from me until Sunday or Monday, depending on my mood and availability. We'll be sure to post plenty of pictures once we get back. As a little taste, I helped make my first Pinewood Derby car, and we named it The Yellow Dart.

An extra 5 points to anyone who knows where we got the idea for the name from.

We will leave you with these happy pictures of Alexa being tickled into delirious happiness by her Daddy. See you soon!

My Daddy is My Favorite Pal

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there, especially to my favorite Dads ever in the history of the world!

This guy:

My Daddy-o:

The handsome men in our family, my dad and little brother, Jacob.

My second Daddy-o (aka Nick's Dad):

And of course the Dad who gave us our little girl:

We love you all and our lives wouldn't be the same without any of you!

Tuesday Tunes

Day 7: A Song That Reminds You of a Certain Event

 This is the song I danced with my daddy at our wedding. It even has more meaning to me now than it did then, and I may cry or at least get chocked up every time I hear this song. Love you, Daddy!

What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong

Day 8: A Song That You Know All the Words to

This is a silly one, I know all the words to probably hundreds of songs. But when I was rocking Aly to sleep today I realized I still know all the words, to both parts, of this song. Crazy, I know.

A Whole New World by Aladdin and Jasmine

Day 9: A Song That You Can Dance to

We Like to Party by Vengaboys

And I dance to it like these guys, except for awesomer. Sorry dudes.

Day 10: A Song That Makes You Fall Asleep

I probably could fall asleep to just about anything, I'm talented like that. But this is one that's pretty much a guarantee. Love this song!

Comfortable by John Mayer

In case you don't know what I'm doing, you can find out here.

"You Deserve This"...or not.

 

 We have had so many people express their happiness to us for Alexa coming to our family, but none more perplexing as some variation of

"You guys are so great; you deserve this."

While I have always graciously accepted that compliment, because I do know what they are trying to say, I do want to make one thing perfectly clear:

we do not deserve the blessing of children, Alexa, or being parents!

There is no act, no series of acts, no lifetime of sainthood-worthy decisions that could make us worthy to have this beautiful girl in our home. No. She is entitled to parents and a family sealed for time and all eternity. That is why adoption happens and families exist. Not because parents have done anything special or spectacular enough, or they waited long enough, or they endured the waiting well enough. It's because all children are God's children, and He is blessing our lives with the opportunity to have them in our families.

I think there is some confusion over how blessings work. If we live the how God wants us to live, we will be blessed. Simple enough, right? The confusing part, I think for some, is that specific actions do not lead to specific blessings. We cannot choose the consequences of our actions, or others' actions, good or bad. All of that is up to God and what He knows to be best for us so we can become better people.

Righteous Action A does not lead to Blessing A, it leads to a blessing. Period. 

So while I am flattered that so many people think us to be deserving parents, I submit that there is no such thing as a parent who deserves their child/ren...no matter how awesome they are. ;)

Music Monday

Our pick (as chosen by Rachel, although I know Nick would endorse the choice):

Sorry about the lame video, but the real one has embedding disabled by request. Who would request that? Same with the acoustic version.

About a billion posts are being prepared, so prepare yourself for a whole lot of awesomeness exploding out of your computer...including Piglet's adoption story!!

When I in Awesome Wonder...

My thoughts are simple tonight.

Parents do hard things for their kids.

Sometimes they wait for them.

Sometimes they let them go.

And maybe the hardest thing of all is knowing that there's nothing they can do except to pray for them.

I know that God takes care of and watches over all of His children. Lucky for us we don't have to be perfect parents because He's got that part covered.

All we have to do is be faithful parents. Faithful to the Father that gave us life, and to our families that make life worth living.

The feeling that everything that is most important to you in the entire universe is completely out of your hands is so frustrating, and yet knowing that God has everything most important in His hands makes it okay. It's still hard, but it's better. Infinitely better.

Something else that makes the pain better is knowing that "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." That verse has new meaning to me now. God gave His son so that all His children could have the best life possible. Isn't that what adoption is all about? May God bless birth parents everywhere for their sacrifice!

My final thought is this (and then it's bedtime), and I'm going to borrow the language from a wonderful man for this one, but I don't think he minds:

"Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name.

Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my salvation, and my redemption from everlasting wo. Yea blessed is the name of my God, who has been mindful of this people, who are a branch of the tree of Israel,and has been lost from its body in a strange land; yea, I say, blessed be the name of my God who has been mindful of us, wanderers in a strange land.

Now my brethern, we see that God is mindful of every people; whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks to my God forever. Amen." (emphasis added)

Thank you Ammon for saying what my heart longs to say, but you're so much more eloquent than I. These words are found in this book on page 275. I recommend the read.

Great Expectations

I just listened to this excellent Charles Dickens tale while driving to and from work. Thank goodness for public libraries. In the novel "Great Expectations" refer to a large sum of money, and Pip (which may or may not be my new favorite name for our future fish), is given this money to make something great of himself.

Playing "Don't Eat Pete" at a Halloween party.

I have my own Great Expectations, something great I have been given to do something great with. That great thing I have been given is my life. Pip's "Great Expectations" originated from a stranger's money, all of ours originated by the grace of God. The following is one of my favorite scriptures:

Thursday Thirteen #15: Reasons Why Dad's Rock!

No this is not a late Father's Day post, this is a precisely on time 4 days after Father's Day post. Check your calendar!

The dad's in my family rock because...

1. they are the only ones who still send postcards.

My daddy sent these to me over about 6 months. While in Wyoming I returned the favor.

2. they know the importance of beauty sleep.

My daddy with his granddaughter, Kaitlyn.

Brother-in-law, David, with his sleepy daughter resting on his shoulder.

My daddy sprawled out in the middle of the floor. Classic.

Nicholas enjoying a relaxing summer nap this afternoon.

3. they have Happy Hands.

Nick's Uncle Wayne idolizing Napolean Dynamite.

4. they swim with seals.

Brother-in-law, Kacey, swimming on the Oregon Coast and got some friends to join him. Awesome.

5. they let you help with breakfast.

Nick's cousin, Rob, rolling croissants with his son Russell.

6. they are extremely masculine.

Nick's brother, Chris. 'Nuff said.

7. their daughters are pretty cute!

Brother-in-law, Brian, with daughter, Aysa. So adorable!

Brother-in-law, David, helping daughter, Kaitlyn, get in her pajamas.

8. they know how to wrap a gift.

David and Kacey have this little gift-wrapping war going on. Yeah, that's all wrapping for 2 very small gifts on the floor.

9. they threaten to throw sand at you.

10. they turn into excellent grandfathers!

Nick's dad hugging his grandson, Zachary, goodbye.

Us with Nick's father's father...the man who showed him how to do the whole grandpa thing right!

11. they make the candy come out of that darn pinata!

 David helping the kids out a bit.

12. they teach the importance of rocking.

Nick's brother, Greg, rocking out on Guitar hero with his son, Zachary.

13. they show no mercy in dog piles.

My 3 sisters and I had no chance and being sissy with our dad around. Hard core, all the way!

I seriously don't know how our family got such a high concentration of quality dad's in the entire world, but it happened. Yeah, they're kind of a big deal!

Happy Thursday after Father's Day Dad's!! 

You are remarkable (hence my remarking about you) and we love you all!

Although, I have to give props to two of my favorite Dads:

the man who raised me to work hard and play hard

and the man who works hard while I play hard

They are the best dad's, and they both mean the world to me!