Hapiness is... Stories Before Bed

Especially when everyone is "reading" their own book.

You Got to Admit It's Getting Better

...It's getting better all the time!

I realize I didn't blog, I mean at all, in the month of December. It was a little crazy, but mostly I was a little preoccupied dealing with this:

Potty training, without question or competition, is the worst part of parenting so far -- bar none! Since the beginning of October there has been seemingly endless tantrums and accidents and I can't decide if her bedding has never been cleaner or never been dirtier. And perhaps the worst of all this has been me...I definitely became a monster mom during this process!

That being said, she's basically potty-trained, both day and night!! There are occasional accidents (like maybe 2 per week), and sure, she's two so there are still tantrums. But at least one kid is totally out of diapers. We're so excited -- we're giving a whole new meaning to potty dance!!

Potty Training has Created a Monster!

My Crazy Girl and Me

I'm not a yeller...at least not outside of organized sports, then yelling is fair game! (Get it? Fair game!)

But in my house, I really wouldn't say I yell a lot. Raise my voice to let the kiddo know I'm serious (because I do goof around a lot), but it's really not often.

At least until potty-training...

Within the past month when we've gone full-on no diaper during the day at all, I have cleaned up WAY TOO MUCH fecal matter, and I have also seen a fear in my daughter's eyes that I hoped she would only show her soon-to-be murderer. I have literally yelled and hit my hand on the door just to make her feel a small part of the frustration and anger that I felt at that moment.

I'm pretty sure all she felt is fear and sadness, and those feelings do not foster a potty-trained kid or a healthy mother-daughter relationship. Trust me.

I don't share this information because I am proud of it or because I have all the solutions. I simply share because this is my soap box, and I have something to say that I need to hear:

Yelling at your children is NEVER okay. I'm not talking about the voice of warning that needs to be sharp and loud to keep your kids safe, nor am I talking about the "will you turn that noise down?!" moments. I am talking about the moments when your blood is boiling and you feel that exasperation down through your fingertips that just uncontrollably explodes out of you!

But that's just the thing. You can control it. YOU CAN CONTROL IT (I'm raising my voice at myself, not yelling)! It is really hard to forgive the 70 x 7th poopy mess that you've had to clean up this week for sure, but it's possible. 

The question comes down to it, Rachel, what kind of mom do you want to be? Do you want to be the kind of mom that yells at her kids? No? Well, then stop it! Do you want to be the kind of mom that holds a grudge against her 2 year old for being scared of pooping on the toilet and then scaring her after she has an accident because you are completely out of ideas? No? Well, then stop it! Do you want to be the kind of mom that invites and encourages the spirit of God into your home with positive, uplifting, and loving words, thoughts, and actions? Yes? Well, then just do it!

And that "just do it" philosophy is probably a lot easier said online than done as you literally watch your daughter poop her pants for the upteenth time, but there's good news (thank goodness)! You have help, which means you have hope. You're literally going to get dozens of more chances over the next few months to approach a disgusting, stinky, and heart-achingly horrible mess better than you approached the last one. You get this opportunity because Jesus gave it to you. The second verse of a song you sing to Alexa often (and gets you choked up as you sing it to her) goes like this:

If the Savior stood beside me, would I say the things I say?

Would my words be true and kind if He were never far away?

Would I try to share the gospel? Would I speak more rev'rently,

If I could see the Savior standing nigh, watching over me?

Rachel, you've made mistakes, but you can do better. You can be kinder, more loving, more empathetic, more patient, more long-suffering, more easy to be entreated, and more Christ-like. Lucky for you I've compiled some resources to help you for when you are having a tough day. You're very welcome.

1. Remember, you really do love love love your beautiful baby girl! I mean, look at this face!

2. You know that the words you say stay with you longer than anyone, for now, and your family can't spiritually afford to have you not at the top of your spiritual game as much as possible -- and improving what you say and how you say it is possible!

3. Here's a great talk about The Words We Speak and you could greatly benefit from reading it again.

4. Here are a couple great blog posts with reminders that unnecessary distractions are debilitating as a mom and when I yell at my kids when no one's around, my kids are around, and they're my most important audience!

5. You're not the only mom with this problem/concern. The latter mom in #4 made an entire blog with all sorts of helpful ideas and resources for your improving pleasure! Her story is inspiring, her challenge is frightening, and her list of alternatives to yelling is thought-provoking! You should spend some time beat-bopping around her website.

6. You can do this! You're kids are young, and everyday is pretty similar to the day before, so you are going to get BUCKETS of chances to make your mothering experience EXACTLY the one you want it to be! You're on the Lord's side on this one, and you can choose, every moment of everyday, to be the person He wants you to become.

Thanks for the pep talk! I needed that! Now since I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to 365 days of no yelling, I'm going to shoot for 1 week. Starting yesterday, because I did well and I need all the help I can get, for one week I am not going to yell at my kids...no matter what poopy mess and craziness awaits me. I can do this!!

I'll update you next Monday on how I did! Yay for making our homes and families what we want them to be!!

As of Lately...

...We're happy!

...We play nice.

...We watch shows under blankets.

...We dress up.

...We bathe.

...We eat (oatmeal with carrots).

...We drink.

...We be merry.

...We're awesome!

...Life is pretty incredible!

I Could Not Have Known

Two years ago I could not have known this morning would be so hard.

I could not have known that it would take every ounce of calm I had to keep from either screaming at her or crying in the corner.

I could not have known that my wonderful Mommy Plans of going to the library would be thwarted by a decision between milk and water.

But even though I could not know those things, I also could not have known that over two years, (with all the tantrums and fights, and screaming for hours) how much I would love her.

I could not have known how much of me I see in her, which is surprising, frustrating, but mostly exciting.

I could not have known how much I want to help her learn, grown, expose her to new and wonderful things, and simply be around her.

I could not have known how even though she brings out the worst in me, she also is able to refine me and makes me better everyday.

I could not have known how happy I am to have her in our eternal family...and how because of her I can better know how much I want James in that family too.

4 more days until an eternity of unknowns with James!!

September 20th

2011:

2013:

Alexa was legally ours in 2011 on September 20th and eternally ours October 8th.

James was legally ours in 2013 on September 20th and will be eternally ours October 12th.
 

I love this time of year when we will forever celebrate our family coming together!! 

Why My Daughter's Crying

Have you spent an inordinate amount of time on the site Reasons My Son is Crying?

I have.

If you ever thought you were a bad parent because your kid just threw the biggest fit and you have no idea why or how to fix the problem, you should check out this site.

I'd like to take this moment to point out that toddlers are deranged sociopaths bent on the destruction of their parent's sanity. Their best weapon to accomplish their psychopathic agenda is completely unreasonable, irrational, and over-the-top tantrums for absolutely random and nonsensical crises.

This was yesterday's:

She woke up from her nap.

Anyone else loving that her shirt says "Sweet"?

I love my daughter, I really do. And she is shamelessly ridiculous.

And just to add to it, this meltdown happened because I made Alexa stop sitting on his abdomen.

Yeah...

Happiness is...Thunder and Lighning Storms

Music Monday

"Bicycle Race," Queen

So, Alexa started singing about bicycles this morning, and I told her about this awesome song about bicycles. We've been listening to it since then! She particularly likes the bell-part. It's been a fun morning!

Happiness is...Splash Pads!