Sunday, May 1, 2011

"You Deserve This"...or not.


 We have had so many people express their happiness to us for Alexa coming to our family, but none more perplexing as some variation of

"You guys are so great; you deserve this."

While I have always graciously accepted that compliment, because I do know what they are trying to say, I do want to make one thing perfectly clear:
we do not deserve the blessing of children, Alexa, or being parents!


There is no act, no series of acts, no lifetime of sainthood-worthy decisions that could make us worthy to have this beautiful girl in our home. No. She is entitled to parents and a family sealed for time and all eternity. That is why adoption happens and families exist. Not because parents have done anything special or spectacular enough, or they waited long enough, or they endured the waiting well enough. It's because all children are God's children, and He is blessing our lives with the opportunity to have them in our families.


I think there is some confusion over how blessings work. If we live the how God wants us to live, we will be blessed. Simple enough, right? The confusing part, I think for some, is that specific actions do not lead to specific blessings. We cannot choose the consequences of our actions, or others' actions, good or bad. All of that is up to God and what He knows to be best for us so we can become better people.

Righteous Action A does not lead to Blessing A, it leads to a blessing. Period. 

So while I am flattered that so many people think us to be deserving parents, I submit that there is no such thing as a parent who deserves their child/ matter how awesome they are. ;)



Becca said...

I remember reading something you said about this a long time ago - when you mentioned that about children being entitled to parents, and no where does it say that parents are entitled to children. That simple thought has really made me look differently at motherhood. It makes me want to make sure that I am doing the best I can with these little ones so that I can at some point give them back to Heavenly Father, like Hannah, in the Old Testament. They are really His children, anyway. We are simply earthly parents charged with taking care of them and raising them up to the Lord. It helps me treasure every moment and helps me speak up to teach them about the gospel.

You guys looks so happy :) And I am soooo happy for you!

kenna said...


i admit it irks me when people say, 'the lord entrusted me,' or, 'i deserve this.'

it's not about trust or deserving, at least not when it comes to us as parents.

it is just as you said, the child is the deserving one, and is entitled to have parents who love them, and to be able to trust in them.

great post.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you don't Deserve it. But you all sure look happy. :)

Mary said...

CONGRATULATIONS! I will happilly remove your button from the sidebar of my blog & add this blog to my "Adoptive Families" blogroll.