I Could Not Have Known

Two years ago I could not have known this morning would be so hard.

I could not have known that it would take every ounce of calm I had to keep from either screaming at her or crying in the corner.

I could not have known that my wonderful Mommy Plans of going to the library would be thwarted by a decision between milk and water.

But even though I could not know those things, I also could not have known that over two years, (with all the tantrums and fights, and screaming for hours) how much I would love her.

I could not have known how much of me I see in her, which is surprising, frustrating, but mostly exciting.

I could not have known how much I want to help her learn, grown, expose her to new and wonderful things, and simply be around her.

I could not have known how even though she brings out the worst in me, she also is able to refine me and makes me better everyday.

I could not have known how happy I am to have her in our eternal family...and how because of her I can better know how much I want James in that family too.

4 more days until an eternity of unknowns with James!!