Happiness in Every Footstep

I just went into Blogger to edit the post I started Monday. Wanna know what I saw?

Seven.

Seven unfinished posts, and assuming Alexa wakes up before this gets posted (which is almost a guaranteed certainty), this is the eighth post I've started and not posted since August 12th. Let me tell you why.

Ya know what's hard? Moving. Ya know what's harder? Moving and then your kids getting sick. Ya know what's even harder? Moving with sick kiddos and PMSing. Ya know what's even harder than that?? Moving with sick kiddos, catching what they got, PMSing, and NOT KNOWING you're PMSing! (So I go around crying and laughing like a maniac...)

Thank you Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

Honestly, it's been a little bit of a tough move for me. Everyone else seems to be handling it well, but I've been really missing my Colorado friends and life there. Everythin is just a little different here, like they want to put green chillies on everything and there are no descent radio stations.

So, I have 7 unfinished posts because I wanted to share my excitement about our new life in New Mexico, but I'm not there yet, and I didn't want to bum everyone out.

Don't get me wrong -- the people here are great, I love my family, our rental house/landlords are great (and no one lives above us). In fact I have told a number of people that I'm just not going to be bummed anymore. Done. I quit being sad.

It's apparently not that easy sometimes. Which is a bummer.

Which doesn't help me feel better at all. It's a tough cycle.

I've been avoiding the word "depressed" (the d-word) because then I just feel defeated by my own emotions. Which is frustrating! Especially when my life is so good! Really, I'm so blessed!

It was when I was talking to my sister Cindy that I said the d-word too many times and tried correcting myself...again...that she put her foot down and said "Rachel, you've gone through a lot! It's okay to feel depressed! You'll get out of it, it's just hard right now!"

Cindy's right. I like her. Someone else who is also right is Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an apostle of God.

There will always be things to complain about -- things that don't seem to go quite right. You can spend your days feeling sad, alone, misunderstood, or unwanted. (How did he know I feel all those things?) But that isn't the journey you had hoped for, and it's not the journey Heavenly Father sent you to take. Remember, you are truly a daughter of God! With this in mind, I invite you to walk confidently and joyfully. Yes, the road has bumps and detours and even some hazards. But don't focus on them. Look for the happiness your Father in Heaven has prepared for you in every step of your journey. Happiness is the destination, but it's also the path.

So that's my plan. Turning off sadness is tough -- trickier than I thought -- but I don't have to focus on those things that aren't just right. Of course things will get better, they always do. In the meantime, I'm going to accentuate the positives! Starting with my adorable kids!

I'll post more often, I promise! And I'll be posting pics of our new place as soon as the tile situation in the dining room is taken care of.

***Update: Alexa didn't wake up. She likes to keep me on my toes.***

Music Monday: Far From the Home I Love

"Far From the Home I Love," Fiddler on the Roof

When we first knew we would be moving this summer I immediately thought of this song. 

How is it moving week already??

Colorado and the people here have become our family and it completely surprises me that I've been able to keep it together as well as I have so far.

So, this song has become my anthem as I travel to a metaphorical "frozen wasteland" (which is in fact a high dessert) as we clean out our home and move ahead to our new adventure:

We'll keep you posted througout moving week, including an incredible video from the lip-sync-off party our friends threw for us! You're not going to want to miss it! 

Remember When...

It's so crazy that such a vital phase of our life is nearly over. I mean, Colorado has given us so much! A Ph.D., two Master's Degree's, 3 jobs, three residences, our first home, countless friends, innumerable memories, and of course, our two beautiful children and their birth-families.

And now we are 21 days away from leaving it all behind us for a new adventure in New Mexico.

So, come and reminisce with Nick and I as we share some, perhaps, lesser known memories.

Remember when...

We moved to Colorado and didn't have a couch so we walked around AFW (aka The Mecca) and sat in these little beauties for a couple weeks until our couches were delivered (and we had a landline)?

We took that hike up the flatirons but only got halfway before your pants ripped in a very inconvenient place and then I had to hike down in front of you so other hikers wouldn't see...anything?

Someone spray painted this lovely message on the garages outside our window (and when this was our view)?

Our rice cooker lid shattered and it looked happy about it?

We played racquetball all the time and you gave me a black eye (and when I had acne so bad I looked like I had chicken pox)?

I took random, "useless" pictures of you...a lot?

We were totally captivated with the Colorado sky (and still are)?

 We went to those Valentine's Dances for grown ups?

We went to like 5 Rockies games in one summer while I was in grad school and we thought a dude with crazy earrings in was worth a picture (and now it's not even worth a second glance)?

We had two cars and they both broke down the same week we moved?

I somehow convinced you to use your finger to desecrate one of our nation's most honored landmarks and presidents?

I used to work with these kiddos everyday?

My making descent food was actually worthy of a picture because it happened so infrequently?

I was a woman of business and wore clothes like this?

 

Our patio looked like this?

You had to do those shifts at the observatory that were so fun and so cold?

We met Gertrude and Helga?

Our new fridge broke and we had to buy a new one only to find out the old one's problem was that the door didn't close all the way (gosh I loved that fridge)?

All our kid stuff fit into one tiny corner (and we owned and had space for a desk)?

Hope you all enjoyed that waltz down memory lane with us -- I know I did! Have I mentioned we are really going to miss Colorado??

I Kinda Love Colorado

Nick left for work at 5:50am this morning and plans on putting in at least a 12.5 hour day, if not more to avoid going in to work tomorrow.

When we agreed to do graduate school this is what we signed up for -- occasional crazy days, typical 11-hour days, and a lot of vacation flexibility so long as it doesn't coincide with a conference or big publication. It's not easy all the time, but even if one had told me how lonely some periods of my life would feel I would have still agreed to it.

In fact, we maybe agreeing to it already. I'm not going to go into specifics, but Nick has/will be applying to eight (possibly nine) jobs this winter. He's headed out of town for a "job interview" Sunday and will be back Tuesday (quick trip). He's applying for jobs across the country leaving our family's future completely unpredictable (which is a real change from its completely predictable past).

I have done a lot of reflecting recently because of all this "Momy-time" I've been having recently, and the thing that surprises me the most about our time in Colorado is how much "it feels like home to me." I don't really know what I was expecting when we moved here, but living in Utah for school never felt like home, and I was there for 3 years. I always felt like a visitor saying "I'll be home [in Oregon] for Christmas" and now find myself saying "I'm so glad we'll be home [in Colorado] for Christmas."

One of the first pictures we took on our very first "let's explore!" walks in Colorado.

Maybe it's because so much of me has happened in the past 5.5 years. Thinking about where I was as a person when we moved here and where I am now just blows my mind! My 21-year old self would not have believed what I am capable of doing now or what I was capable of becoming.

Dolled Up in August 2007

Dolled Up in September 2012

(Geez! I figured how to pose for pics, fix my hair, trim my eyebrows, cover up zits, and wear clothes! Holy Cow!)

I wonder if that's what home is...maybe home is a place where you become the person you were always meant to be. That takes stretching, and stretching takes time. Don't get me wrong, I was stretched plenty in college, but places don't feel like home so much to me as the people that helped me through those times of stretching. Mostly Nick, but also my roommates and friends who held my hand and dried my tears through the flour gooping up in them (long story...okay, not that long: flour fights). In Utah it was the people I ended up missing, and here it's going to be the people but also the places where created our first real home.

 

One flour fight of many in college. So fun!

I kinda love Colorado, a lot more than I thought I would after 5.5 years. I'm going to really try to enjoy the snow this year.

On Octobers

On Tuesday Alexa and I walked around outside for a bit to enjoy the perfectly October weather and colors. We really did just take a picture of everything outside that screamed October! Shown here is only a handful of our spoils.

It's quite possible October is my favorite month of the year...although November, December, February, April, and September are all pretty great, too. But let me just postulate on October for a moment.

(Sorry if your favorite month didn't make the cut...write your own blog post about it.)

My favorite person in the world was born in this month, and the most current version of our family was sealed in this month! Also, two words for you: Halloween costumes! 

If you're not loving this month as much as we are, here are some simple steps to change your attitude: 

Step 1 -  Pick a Dandelion.

Step 2 - Savor a wish.

 Step 3 - Wipe the seeds that stuck to your sticky face off.

 Step 4 - Throw some leaves in the air.

Step 5 - Play in tree branches on your mom's shoulders while she attempts to wrangle a picture of the special October moment.

Step 6 - Instead of being sad, be awesome instead. That's what we do. True story.

That would be a piece of a Clementine stuck in her teeth. Good thing she can pull it off.

In our house, we adopt the Anne of Green Gables philosophy towards October...

Source: takecarexo.xanga.com via Rachel on Pinterest

And Octobers in Colorado are particularly interesting, because on Tuesday it was this:

And today we woke up to this:

Oh October, you're just as indecisive as I am. No wonder we get along so well. Happy weekend everyone!