Seven unfinished posts, and assuming Alexa wakes up before this gets posted (which is almost a guaranteed certainty), this is the eighth post I've started and not posted since August 12th. Let me tell you why.
Ya know what's hard? Moving. Ya know what's harder? Moving and then your kids getting sick. Ya know what's even harder? Moving with sick kiddos and PMSing. Ya know what's even harder than that?? Moving with sick kiddos, catching what they got, PMSing, and NOT KNOWING you're PMSing! (So I go around crying and laughing like a maniac...)
Thank you Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.
Honestly, it's been a little bit of a tough move for me. Everyone else seems to be handling it well, but I've been really missing my Colorado friends and life there. Everythin is just a little different here, like they want to put green chillies on everything and there are no descent radio stations.
So, I have 7 unfinished posts because I wanted to share my excitement about our new life in New Mexico, but I'm not there yet, and I didn't want to bum everyone out.
Don't get me wrong -- the people here are great, I love my family, our rental house/landlords are great (and no one lives above us). In fact I have told a number of people that I'm just not going to be bummed anymore. Done. I quit being sad.
It's apparently not that easy sometimes. Which is a bummer.
Which doesn't help me feel better at all. It's a tough cycle.
I've been avoiding the word "depressed" (the d-word) because then I just feel defeated by my own emotions. Which is frustrating! Especially when my life is so good! Really, I'm so blessed!
It was when I was talking to my sister Cindy that I said the d-word too many times and tried correcting myself...again...that she put her foot down and said "Rachel, you've gone through a lot! It's okay to feel depressed! You'll get out of it, it's just hard right now!"
Cindy's right. I like her. Someone else who is also right is Dieter F. Uchtdorf, an apostle of God.
There will always be things to complain about -- things that don't seem to go quite right. You can spend your days feeling sad, alone, misunderstood, or unwanted. (How did he know I feel all those things?) But that isn't the journey you had hoped for, and it's not the journey Heavenly Father sent you to take. Remember, you are truly a daughter of God! With this in mind, I invite you to walk confidently and joyfully. Yes, the road has bumps and detours and even some hazards. But don't focus on them. Look for the happiness your Father in Heaven has prepared for you in every step of your journey. Happiness is the destination, but it's also the path.So that's my plan. Turning off sadness is tough -- trickier than I thought -- but I don't have to focus on those things that aren't just right. Of course things will get better, they always do. In the meantime, I'm going to accentuate the positives! Starting with my adorable kids!
I'll post more often, I promise! And I'll be posting pics of our new place as soon as the tile situation in the dining room is taken care of.
***Update: Alexa didn't wake up. She likes to keep me on my toes.***