When we agreed to do graduate school this is what we signed up for -- occasional crazy days, typical 11-hour days, and a lot of vacation flexibility so long as it doesn't coincide with a conference or big publication. It's not easy all the time, but even if one had told me how lonely some periods of my life would feel I would have still agreed to it.
In fact, we maybe agreeing to it already. I'm not going to go into specifics, but Nick has/will be applying to eight (possibly nine) jobs this winter. He's headed out of town for a "job interview" Sunday and will be back Tuesday (quick trip). He's applying for jobs across the country leaving our family's future completely unpredictable (which is a real change from its completely predictable past).
I have done a lot of reflecting recently because of all this "Momy-time" I've been having recently, and the thing that surprises me the most about our time in Colorado is how much "it feels like home to me." I don't really know what I was expecting when we moved here, but living in Utah for school never felt like home, and I was there for 3 years. I always felt like a visitor saying "I'll be home [in Oregon] for Christmas" and now find myself saying "I'm so glad we'll be home [in Colorado] for Christmas."
One of the first pictures we took on our very first "let's explore!" walks in Colorado.
Maybe it's because so much of me has happened in the past 5.5 years. Thinking about where I was as a person when we moved here and where I am now just blows my mind! My 21-year old self would not have believed what I am capable of doing now or what I was capable of becoming.
Dolled Up in August 2007
Dolled Up in September 2012
(Geez! I figured how to pose for pics, fix my hair, trim my eyebrows, cover up zits, and wear clothes! Holy Cow!)
I wonder if that's what home is...maybe home is a place where you become the person you were always meant to be. That takes stretching, and stretching takes time. Don't get me wrong, I was stretched plenty in college, but places don't feel like home so much to me as the people that helped me through those times of stretching. Mostly Nick, but also my roommates and friends who held my hand and dried my tears through the flour gooping up in them (long story...okay, not that long: flour fights). In Utah it was the people I ended up missing, and here it's going to be the people but also the places where created our first real home.
One flour fight of many in college. So fun!
I kinda love Colorado, a lot more than I thought I would after 5.5 years. I'm going to really try to enjoy the snow this year.