Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Here It Goes Again
We have them. They're sitting next to my laptop on the table. Our folder with our adoption paperwork is right here, and it has begun again.
I started them just as soon as I got home with them last week, and then I stopped. I don't know, I thought this go-round would be easier, less unfamiliar, but honestly it feels like I've gone back in time a few years. I'm just as unsure of my capability to parent as I used to be. Just as unsure of the process as I used to be. Just as unsure of the heartaches and joys ahead of us as I used to be.
Ya know what's changed? I know this is what I want. I think maybe the first time around I was always hoping just a little that I would get pregnant and we could be done with the whole adoption thing, just because at times it was so hard. But now, I'm kinda horrified to get pregnant. I WANT to adopt another beautiful baby like the one I already have adopted more than anything in the world.
If the next baby wanted to cuddle a little more than my first I wouldn't complain at all, but my desire is not for a carbon copy baby, it's for another beautiful adoption.
And so we walk forward in uncertainty and trepidation, but with a "perfect brightness of hope", because no matter how long it takes or how hard the pathway is, I have seen the other side, and it is oh so good.
So prepare yourselves for an onslaught of changes happening around the blog. A lot of requests to help our family grow will be coming your way, (our references have already been contacted...what great people we know)! A lot of adoption updates complete full of triumphs and trials!
Y'all ready for this? (dun nun nuh nun nun nun...) I hope we are!