Thursday, September 15, 2011

Girl, Not Boy; Placed, Not Given Up

I know at this point in time some details about Alexa's life are really not all that critical enough that strangers or acquaintances get them right.

Her gender, for example, is something that is constantly getting muddled. (No matter how much/many pink/purple/flowers/hearts she is wearing, if there is no bow on her head, some old lady will approach me and say what a beautiful blue-eyed boy I have. Why are people obsessed with blue eyes? But I digress..)

Post-sweet potatoes eating experiment. Result: she likes them!

Another point that is not extremely important for strangers to get correct is one, like her gender, that I find very important! The fact that Ray and Melissa placed her in our family and did not just give her up seems unimportant to others unaware of the love they have for her, but to Nick and I, they placed her in our arms, home, and family with as much care as anyone has ever had for a child.

 One of Alexa's favorite chew toys. The poor little guy has no eyes anymore.

And just like her gender, it only makes people uncomfortable when I correct them, especially when we just met. So when strangers or acquaintances ask why her "real" parents gave her up (a point corrected by my friend, Jill, here), I simply reply that "Alexa's birth-parents placed her with us because they love her, and wanted the best they could give her."

It's simple, yet so profound. It's a detail that I always want Alexa to know is vitally important to who she is and how her daddy and I view her.

Just like her gender.

What a beloved little girl we have that her Heavenly Father placed her with her birth-family who then placed her with her adopted family. All because they love her. How I love adoption and all of Alexa's families!


Jenni said...

Katelyn really liked the "soup all over her face" in the first picture. (She too was often called a boy-people are silly:). Adoption is so wonderful, but especially for the child who is placed with a loving family who recognizes the sacrifice of a loving birth family.

Jill Elizabeth said...

I think that some of the most important truths in the world are the simple ones. Thank you for putting this into words!

I've had people tell me, "Oh, same thing," when I correct their use of the phrase "given up" with "placed." It is absolutely not the same thing. The difference is critical, and so very important for people to understand - especially the little ones who were placed!

Also, how gorgeous is your little girl? I'm not usually one to fuss over other people's kids, but she is aggressively cute :)