While We Were Out...

Hi All! You may or may not have noticed I've taken a bit of a hiatus from blogging for a while, but all that's about to change. James is now 9.5 weeks old and I am starting to figure out how to be a mom and wife without sleep and with 2 kids. Every time I've sat down to post recently I just got this nagging feeling that I should focus on my screaming kids instead of the blog.

So, here is my super lame post about things I should have posted more in depth about during the last couple months:

1. Nick fake graduated and got a 3-year post-doctorate position at Los Alamos National Labratory in Los Alamos New Mexico!

2. Nick will really graduate in August and defend his thesis after which we'll be moving to Los Alamos!

3. We planted our garden! This year it's peppers, strawberries, and onions.

4. James turned two months old! HOLY COW! He weighs 9 lbs. 6 oz., and is a happy and healthy little boy.

 
5. Alexa still really loves James, nearly to his death a few times, but it's all good natured and no one has been permanently damaged...we think.

6. I have some catching up to do but I'm sticking with my goal of reading 50 books this year! I'm about 40-60% through about 5 books right now, so it's not over yet!

7. Nick went to France back in April leaving me at home with a 3 week old and a 2-year old for 8 days!

 The obligatory "Just in Case You Die" photo

8. The loneliness wasn't too bad though because my sister, Cindy, came out to visit for a few days. We had such a great time!

9. I finished my recreational women's soccer league last Friday and dominated the game by scoring 2/4 goals for our team. I'm really going to miss those ladies!


I'm really sure there are more posts I meant to do, but please, for now, consider me caught up and I'll fill you in on a need-to-know basis! 

Got a post already for tomorrow, so I'm serious this time that I'm back in the blogging world! Woot woot!

My Thoughts on Teen/Single Moms

Remember that one time before Alexa (I barely do sometimes...) that I was working? Well, I was, and I worked for this non-profit in Denver that helped run an alternative high school for teen moms. Maybe you've heard of it: Florence Crittenton High School? Ring any bells?

Well, if it does ring any bells, it might be because that high school is now the subject of the new TLC show High School Moms. I haven't been able to watch any episodes yet, but I've seen clips and interviews and mostly the school looks just as incredible on TV as it does in real life.

While I was working there, seeing all these pregnant or parenting teen moms, and at that time very much wanting my own children in my family, the question I got most often was "Is it really hard working there?"

I don't know this student, but I know the nurse and she is one of the most fabulous people ever met!

I must admit that some days/situations were harder to bare than others, but mostly I found so much unexpected love, admiration, respect, and joy for those moms and their children! I was planning on going in there, doing my data analysis work, and going home. The problem with that plan was that as I spoke with the students and learned of their love and dedication to their children and families that it was so easy to fall in love with them and their children! My whole experience there made it possible for me to let go of my jealousy and envy and anger towards single moms who choose to parent and embrace them as loving mothers, just like me.

My sister was a teen mom and parented her daughter (Abby), and is now a wonderful mother to her three children. She is married to her children's father, and they have created a wonderful family together of which I admire and strive to emulate on a regular basis.

 Me, my niece Abby, and my Sister Cindy after a trip to the mall.

I hold no resentment towards teen moms or single moms, like Hayley, who choose to parent their children instead of placing them for adoption. They're not preventing me from parenting my own children, they're just loving theirs. How can I be angry when their biggest crime is that they love their children too much to let them go? My only hope is that I can help them through their challenges as a mother, as I hope they can also help me through mine. Lord knows my life has been immeasurably blessed by teen/single moms, and I am so grateful for those moms who have shown me so much of what being a loving mom is all about.

***Disclaimer: Alexa's birthmom does not fit that single or teen mom description at all, so I maintain that my admiration for teen/single mom's is unbiased and extremely reliable. I have not been compensated for this post, nor will I be because, honestly, no one is willing to pay me for it.*** 

The Unsung Hero

I have delayed posting because what I want to post is a very tender and difficult topic. Only a few people know about this experience, but I think it is something that we all can learn from. I know I did.

On October 10th I received a phone call from my eldest sister Cindy saying that our sister Jen had been taken into the hospital for emergency surgery. At the time she was about 5.5 months pregnant with her second child. She did not know much then and did not think it was very serious, but she would call and let me know what was going on. about 6 hours later I received a second phone call from Cindy. The message was simple and solemn: the baby had died. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. It wasn’t until later that I learned that this situation could have been much worse.

Jen had been having abdominal pain since Tuesday of that week and had been informed she had a bladder infection. When she wasn’t responding to treatment the doctor’s thought she had a cyst on her ovary. This seemed reasonable seeing as how both Cindy and I have had problems with cysts before. The doctors took her in for surgery to remove the problem and found out they were very wrong. Jen had an extra smaller uterus attached to her normal one, which is where the baby had implanted. He grew too big and burst the uterus. About half of Jen’s blood was in her abdominal cavity when they opened her up. She was so close to dying.

A funeral was held for Samuel Aaron McCallister (his initials spell his name) on October 17, 2009. He is buried near my sister’s home in Oregon. I wanted to be there, but it was decided that Nicholas and I should keep our plane tickets for Christmas instead. I heard it was beautiful though. Jen wrote a poem and they put inside his casket a stuffed monkey and a hot wheels. They are such strong people and I know that their family, my family, will all be together again in the eternities. What a wonderful blessing to know they have an angel baby waiting for them in his perfect state.

Even though this is a true tragedy, there are so many things to be grateful for. I am so grateful that I still have all my sisters here with me on earth. I never realized how much I love Jen, and the rest of my family, until one was nearly taken away. They are truly a blessing in my life. I am also grateful for this gospel. It does not take away all the sadness or heartache, but it makes it bearable and understandable. In the words of the beloved prophet Joseph Smith, who lost 6 children in infancy, said this about the deaths of little ones:

“...in my leisure moments I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it … grows more wicked and corrupt. … The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again...The only difference between the old and young dying is, one lives longer in heaven and eternal light and glory than the other, and is freed a little sooner from this miserable, wicked world. Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope.”

Another reason to be grateful is that because of Sam’s courage and strength, all his siblings should have no problem entering this world. He sacrificed his life for his family; what an incredible young boy.

Talking with Jen about this she told me that she felt his spirit, and knows that he loves her. She knows that he is waiting for her. She said they named him Sam for a number of reasons, but one was because Sam always seems to be the name of the unsung hero in stories. Well, Sam, today and forever I will sing of your heroism and wonder. If I knew how to compose music I would definitely write you a song! You are a vital member of our family and I know Uncle Nick and I are looking forward to playing with you and watching you grow and develop in the millennium. Give everyone a kiss for me, and I had better see you in my welcoming party or else you are going to get one heck of a noogie! Thank you for what you did. We will never forget it!

Jen, you are a wonderful wife, mother, sister, aunt, and friend. We are all glad you are still kicking around for a while!



This is one of my favorite pictures of all time! Take just after Anna rinsed out her Mohawk.