Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Daunting Task Ahead

I know this will sound silly, but I think the adoption process is going to be more emotional than I originally anticipated. I told that to Nicholas and he said, "I don't know, I thought it would be pretty emotional," and so did I; we just haven't even started the paperwork and I already have teared up thinking of the daunting task before us. Thinking about it, we are trying to convince a loving mom to entrust us with her child for all eternity, not to mention the state of Colorado, and of course God. Did you have feelings similar to this when you were pregnant or perhaps after you delivered, when you realized God has given you this little baby to care for? Well, I think I'm starting to feel that, and that feeling is compounded because it's not just God who we're trying to get to trust us, but it's all those other parties as well. Getting started on the paperwork, as you can imagine, is a bit nerve-wracking. That may not be the right word, but I really don't want to mess it up! It's done in pen!
Let me tell you a bit about our first meeting with our caseworker, Kelly. He's a very nice and friendly man. He told us about various couples and families and showed us pictures of babies he's placed. He talked to us about how special the sealing of parents to child is, and when that child's hand is placed on their parents', it's very easy to tell that that's the family that baby is supposed to be in. When other couples we know have told us of their adoption process and the sealing, I just didn't get it, and to be honest I still don't think I do, but I'm starting to get a glimpse of how wonderful it will be when, no matter how it happens, add such a special little spirit into our home and family.
Some technical information is obviously how long the process take. Well, if you could see the stack of paperwork that we have to fill out (some of you have) you would know it takes a bit. One of the longer pieces is the fingerprinting, estimating about 3 months of processing through the state. Because we have only been in Colorado for 2 years, it may have to go through Utah's abuse system as well, which could lengthen the process. Once all our paperwork and fingerprints get into LDS Family Services, and our application is approved, then we can be put in the pool of adoptive couples. At that point, best case scenario a mother chooses us the next day, worst case scenario we wait for 3 years. We shall see! LDS Family Services facilitates a very open adoption process between mother and adoptive couples, getting them together as early as a few months prior to the child's birth. From then on, the two parties decides how much contact they want to have after the birth of the baby.
Just to let you all know, we plan on continuing with our fertility treatment for one final month, and depending on how things go with that, we will then progress full-force in the adoption process. Of course the fact that we are adopting is not a secret, but there is no need to advertise it to absolutely everyone yet. Next month we will start more widely sharing this news with just about everyone we meet, and once our application has been approved, we will be going to great lengths to do our part to find a family to be eternally bound with ours! This is one of the best parts, so far, of adoption, I think especially for Nicholas: we can actually be actively involved in assisting in the process of having a child. Up until now, the blessing of a child has been mostly waiting and hoping, and while these will still be very much apart of it all, we can do something! From paperwork to fingerprinting to scrap booking (which I will most certainly need help with) to trainings to advertising (strange word, but that's basically what we're doing), we are going to be very busy and active in receiving a child. What an exciting process this will be, and we are truly excited for whatever lies ahead. We feel blessed and comforted knowing it is all in God's hands, and His omniscient and omnipotent power will continue to guide and direct our lives for the most perfect situation and blessings for our family.
Let me finally say that Nicholas and I invite any and all comments, suggestions, and questions no matter how personal, emotional, awkward, or technical, as we both feel talking and sharing our thoughts helps sort through them more easily and helps our testimonies grow. We are extremely new in this process and have so much to learn, and are very open to your experiences, as we are all apart of the same eternal family here to lift and strengthen one another. Thank you for your love, friendship, and prayers in our behalf. We truly feel of them and we want you to know that we have received many blessings of comfort through your generosity and individual testimonies and strength. We are truly eternally grateful!


Dani and Dave said...

Our good friends, Tyler and Candie, just had their adoption go through this last weekend. Friday was the adoption, Saturday- the sealing, and Sunday- the name and blessing. We got to attend the adoption. I've never attended one, so I didn't know what to expect. But it was really neat. When it was being finalized, the judge said that their birth certificates and such would be changed and the children would be theirs as if they had been 'naturally born' into that family. I thought that was really neat. I would have expected that perspective in the temple, but it almost felt like an eternal perspective in....not necessarily worldly...but um, you know, in a courtroom of the government and not the temple, it was nice to hear.

Lauren Davison said...

Ah! How crazy! It sure feels like everything regarding babies gets emotional at some point or another... I think we as women are doomed. :) Kirby and I are crazy-excited for you guys, though!

Joel & Lila said...

You know you can ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS call, email, blog comment, or facebook me if you have any questions about anything! The adoption process is very very emotional....from start to finish and quite frankly for eternity....not a day goes by that I don't thank the Lord for our sweet baby boy and his birthmother. The emotional rollercoaster rarely ever goes away. Now having had our sweet baby over 8 months, I am still emotional, daily over different situations. Infertility still being one of them.

Anyway, the paperwork is crazy, but if you dedicate at least one night a week to working on it, you wont get discouraged. We finished ours in record time, and it was was hard!! No lies there. The questionnaire that they give you was the hardest because at the end visits with our casework, we had to read our responses out loud to each other and him. Very hard to do sometimes because it is soo personal. Make sure to go to the adoption support group blog I have created. It is a great tool and comfort.

And of course, our blog too....

Best of luck to you! Don't focus on the hard task at hand, focus on the end result!

Jessica said...

I'm so happy for you guys that things are getting on their way! You're in my prayers! I miss you tons too! :)