Music Monday

"What's Mine Is Yours," Katherine Nelson

I have listened to this song dozens of times since first hearing it. I don't feel like there's a lot to say other than we are so grateful for our children's birth parents who are very much aware that children are not ours, but God's.

Thank you Ray, Melissa, and The Sneetch's birth family in particular! You have, do, and will bless our family's life in ways none of us can begin to imagine! We love you all!

The Luxury of Adoption

I have an acquaintance who just announced she's having twins, a boy and a girl. We have another friend who had twin girls last year.

At one time I really wanted that, (as a kid I said I always wanted "twin boys and an older sister") and now I think it's highly unlikely that will ever happen. Or at least it probably won't happen in the way I thought it would. But like many things when your a kid, you get a little older and realize that's not what you really want at all.

When I envision my future family, instead of blonde/brown haired children with similar genetic patterns, I think I now picture something that looks a little more like this family, The Dennehys (YOU NEED TO FOLLOW THAT LINK!!).

Favorite quote from the video: "We're such victims of our culture because our culture tells us your kids have to look perfect and be in all the perfect schools and you can't do that with a big family, but if you just concentrate on what's important the rest will follow."

I was talking with my Mother-in-Law the other day and telling her how privileged I feel to be able to look at children in need of a home and family and immediately think "Is there something I can do?" instead of families who are strictly biological who may not have that luxury of thinking that way.

I call it a luxury very intentionally. I do not mean to say that I am a Saint for adopting the one child I have adopted, but I do know of the luxurious feeling I have when I think of what my family will be like someday. The essence of the lap of luxury is love, and that's what adoption is!

Adopting is not about us giving a loving home and family to children, it's about our children receiving a loving home and family and life that they may not have otherwise have had. Adoption was never about Nick or me, it has always been about our kids.

Alright Sneetch, please come soon so we can take the next step on this road to our family together! We're so excited to meet you, and seeing families like The Dennehy's make us all the more excited! Love ya, kido!

(If you want to learn more about The Dennehy's, you can YouTube them or follow this link where the dad talks about how they got each one of their kids.)

12•12•12

A number that repeats in the month, day, and year in a date will not happen again in my lifetime, unless I live to be 1,015...which I'm not sure I want to do.

So that means today is special. And special days deserves special things, like a family of angel bells donning the tree. Another special thing today is I'm going to begin again my 365-photo challenge that I got about a third of the way through last time. This year is going to be so special for our little angelic family, and I want to record it!

I love our little angelic family - at least their angelic to me! 

"...though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"
-Scrooge's Nephew, A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

Covetousness: The True Christmas Spirit

I don't know about the rest of you, but I am getting caught up in the Christmas spirit this year!

I want...I need...I wish I had...

That's the Christmas spirit, right?

Our financial situation is fine, we're just not going to get that Mercedes and move into that mansion that we've been planning on. Bummer, I know.

Nope, this year Alexa is getting the gifts and our family is headed to Oregon to see Grandmas and Grandpas and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins and Friends! There's definitely challenges to our parents living 5 miles apart, but I'm glad we get to make one trip and see everyone during the holidays!

So, my motto this year for Christmas has been this:

"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." -Leonardo Da Vinci

I'm not sure that my heart has caught up with my brain on this quite yet, but there's still time! My mom gave me a lot of wonderful qualities (thanks for those, no thanks for the nose), but my favorite maybe that she and I are both dreamers. I've talked about this before, but at Christmas time it's so easy to get caught up in dreams, and some even decide to elevate their dreams above their finances.

We don't do that. Both Nick and I have had to sacrifice some of our immediate wants this year for something that we really want: financial stability.

Our recipe for a simple Christmas this year is this: we're filling each others' stockings for $20 or less, Alexa is getting new gifts from grandparents, birth-grand-parents, aunts and uncles, and from other gracious admirers. But Santa is playing it cool this year and is giving her second-hand and homemade gifts...and of course some candy. That's it.

I certainly admit to indulging the green-eyed monster of covetousness a few times too many this season, but I am the master of my fate, my happiness, and my finances!

It's going to be a wonderful Christmas season this year! So much to be grateful for and to look forward to and delicious delights to bake and share...more stuff would just clutter it up!

We're getting our tree tomorrow (YAY!) and I'm planning on finishing Alexa's stocking this weekend and will also figure out a stocking to make for The Sneetch as well. Can't forget about our next little character that will be coming into our home when the time is right! Maybe by next Christmas...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a silly and smiley weekend!

C'mon Next Little Miracle! Mommy Misses You!

I admit it, right now, at this very moment, my heart is sad. I love Alexa more than I can say and I am completely in love with Nicholas and cannot express how much meaning and light he brings into my life.

But right now I am really missing our next little miracle. I want to make him/her a little stocking for Christmas and fill it with wonderful little Bambino goodies! I want to hold our little Sneetch and cuddle with him/her with one hand and type a completely different post right now with my other hand.

I want Alexa to love and dote upon her little sibling. She is going to be SUCH a good sister...and a little ornery for sure, but that's to be expected.

I want Nick to have a little boy buddy or to be swarmed in a house full of girls! He is SUCH a wonderful father and any child would be so blessed to have him as their Dad-dad!

Recently when a friend has shared their happy pregnancy news or even their happy adoption news (which I usually get more excited about, even when my heart is hurting a bit), I still feel happy, but then an immediate aching begins. My heart gets so confused at those moments.

I know we've only been approved for the second time since August, but I can't tell you how many times I have wished that the unknown number on my phone was a potential birthmom. Really, it's every time. I know we are probably only at the very beginning of our journey to our little Sneetch and we have a long way to go, but that knowledge does not help me temper my emotions at all.

In fact, none of the blessings I have mentioned help ease the aching or homesick feeling I get when all I want are my babies to be with me. I can wait until it's right, but I wish that the right time comes very soon...and that wish and the thoughts and feelings that accompany it make my heart ache so much!

I think I thought this go around would be easier, just because we've done it before and are used to wanting our children with us. We're infertility veterans, so I just assumed I'd be able to deal with this aching better over time. I suppose in some ways it definitely is easier because I know adoption works and that is extremely comforting. I don't want to discount how much I trust the adoption process and the Lord's timing in putting our family together and how much easier that knowledge makes this adoption experience easier.

It's also easier because Alexa is here and being a Mom at all is such a blessing...one I wasn't sure I'd have during the first time adopting. How grateful I am to be a Mom!

But the heartaches are not easier, and the longing for my babies who aren't here is not easier. And the increased longing I feel around the holidays is not easier.

So this rambling post is just a plea to the world wide web...because where else can I make this plea that makes anymore sense? My plea is this:

Hey next little Miracle, our little Sneetch! Please come to our family soon! Your Mommy misses you and wants you home! And bring your birth-family with you, because we miss them, too! I love you more than I even know or can understand, and so does your Dad-dad and sister! See you soon, kiddo!

Our Family Advocates Adoption (Even in Grocery Lines)

When we started flirting with the idea of adoption a few years ago I really did not understand what I was signing up for. I really didn't get that I was signing up for a lot of insensitive or downright rude and judgmental commentary from complete strangers towards myself, my husband, my daughter, or my children's birthparents. I didn't know I'd have to be an adoption advocate every time a checker at the grocery store told me "She has your smile" or "You two look so much alike."

I am embarrassed to admit that in the past I have held my tongue, and I did so because frankly, it is not their business that none of her genes came from me! And why do I have to open the door to their potential load of crappy adoption ideas or insensitive comments?! I'm just shopping for crying out loud!

But the truth is I am so proud of my daughter's adoption! In fact, aside from my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (learn more here), nothing makes me more proud! I want to correct misconceptions, change crappy ideas people have, and help people see how wonderful adoption is!
It's my responsibility to speak up when people say mis-informed or insensitive or blatantly wrong things or even simple things like "you look alike." It is my responsibility as a parent to my adopted child. It's my responsibility as a co-mother with Melissa. It's my responsibility as the mother who Ray chose to be with his daughter everyday. It's my responsibility as a niece to two adopted aunts. It's my responsibility as a person, a child of God, to act rather than be acted upon.

And when it comes to adoption, you can bet the bank that I will act, and as time goes on I guarantee you I will act more with more conviction. (I promise Nick will too, but he can write his own post if he wants.)

So this post started as a commitment to our little Sneetch who will enter our little adoption-oriented family, and to Sneetch's birthparents, that our family will always advocate for adoption. We will always standby our children's birth-families! We will always do everything we can to maintain the most open relationship with those birth-families as humanly possible! We're in this for the long, dirty, messy haul, and we're in it now deeper than we have ever been because there are so many blessings amidst all that dirt and mess...and the stakes for our family - for our children - have never been higher.

Alexa and the rest of our adopted children need to know that there is not a speck of shame in our hearts about whose uterus they grew in or the path we went through as their parents to get them into our family. We are so proud, and will share that pride at all times and in all places, including with checkers at the grocery store.

We even wear t-shirts and walk in parades to show our adoption pride!

Music Monday

"Home," Phillip Phillips

Dedicated, once again, to our future adoption. Love you, Sneetch! Love this song! Hate the dude's name who sings it. Uhh, repetitive much? Repetitive much?

The Newest Figurative Member of Our Family

Nick's family has a tradition of naming their unborn fetuses with silly names, like Bubba or Spud for example. When we found out Alexa was going to be born, we decided to name her The Lorax.

In this post I mentioned that my favorite Dr. Seuss book as a kid was The Lorax, so Nick's mom promptly sent us a stuffed version of the beloved tree-saving character.

So then, staying with the Dr. Seuss theme, we've planned ahead a bit this time and decided on a name for our next little Bambino, as well as purchased the corresponding stuffed version of it.

Without further ado, we proudly introduce The Sneetch!!

And Alexa is getting along swimmingly with The Sneetch! BFFs for sure!

 Kisses!

She really does love those stuffed creatures, but let's not be too critical, she's only 19 months!

Welcome to the family Sneetch! We'll be taking you on little adventures until the real Sneetch can join us...and maybe even then, too, because Alexa seems to like you a lot!