If you are reading this blog, you most likely are in some sort of situation that causes you to question why you are where you are. I think that everyone involved in any aspect of the adoption process at times wonders how they fit into a loving Heavenly Father’s plan of happiness. As a couple looking to adopt, we have asked that question a number of times - to each other, to friends and family, and even to God. This fireside was a chance to hear that question asked and answer in the lives of three families touched by adoption.
The three speakers were an couple that had gone through the adoption process three times, a birth mother who is also an adopted child and an adoptive mother, and an adopted child who had been reunited with her birth parents after 40 years. In each case they told of the challenges that they faced, the blessings they received, and how they can now see much more clearly how the struggles, trials, and blessings fit into the plan of a loving God for them and their family. It was a chance to hear some success stories, but more importantly, it was a chance to be reminded that God loves us - all of us - more than we know. As one of the speakers put it, “God is in the details of our lives”. We appreciated the reminder.
The presentation began with a beautiful trio singing “Love, It Changes Everything” by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Here is a beautiful arrangement of the song, sung by soloist Michael Ball:
Not as good as the trio, in our opinion, and he’s even got an orchestra! It was a beautiful song and they did a great job. It set a wonderful tone for the rest of the program.
The adoptive couple spoke first and told us their story of adopting their two children. Their children are 6 months apart and the parents testified that these children are absolutely theirs. One thing that worries me sometimes when we think about the future of our family is that we will never be chosen by a birth mother or when we do it won’t be by the right birth mother. Sometimes we feel like our lives are left to chance, that somehow because we don’t feel in control of this situation that nobody is. This couple eased these feelings and reminded us that “God is in the details” of our lives. Whenever we get children, no matter how long it takes, we were reminded that they will be absolutely ours and it will be without-a-doubt right. They also shared that adoption was not their second choice as parents, it is a chosen calling. Before we decided to adopt that was one thing that really upset us; we did not want to have a family because of a second choice option. We no longer feel that adoption is our second choice, it’s just part of God’s plan for us that we did not see before...like so many other things in my life!
The birth mother who spoke next was also awe-inspiring. She has such a testimony of adoption which was easily felt as she spoke and shared her many experiences. Hearing from birth mothers always opens my eyes as to what a difficult thing it is to willing share your child with someone else because they know that will be best for their baby. This woman had a closed adoption, and so she is not aware of where he is or what he is doing now 22 years later, but she prays for his safety and happiness. What courage and strength birth parents have, and we are so grateful for each of them and the decision they make. They truly are angels on earth.
The last speaker was a woman who was part of a closed adoption about 40 years ago and just recently found her birth mother and family after years of searching. She testified of the right-ness of her family and life now, and knows even more now that her family is part of her plan from her Heavenly Father. She shared with us a story about how her biological aunt had been the only one of her birth family to see her before she was adopted, and how she feels connected to her very deeply. An afghan was sown by her birth-aunt and given to her with love, reminding her that people weave stitches of love in her life daily. It was a beautiful analogy.
The speakers ended by answering some questions in a panel format, which was nice being able to hear additional aspects of their stories. Hearing stories from these people and others who have opened their hearts to us after hearing we plan on adopting is a true blessing from this process. Miracles happen all the time, and it is so great to remember that God has not and will never forget His children. We testify that God is aware of our situations, and along with Elder Wirthlin know that “every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.”