Happiness is...a Good Cause

Our family got in on the alsicebucketchallenge and were happy to participate -- although I don't know how much awareness we provided. Oh well, it was fun!

James was by far the most traumatized, even though it was quite cold! Don't forget to donate!

Our Third Little Miracle

When Alexa turned 1 we were already in possession of our adoption paperwork for round 2 and had been working on it for a month. We barely had a conversation about how to acquire our next child because adoption was just right.

13 months later James was born. The whole thing happened really fast! Approved in August 2012, contacted by Shilo in December, and a family of 4 in March 2013. Bing-Bang-Bam!

A couple months before James was sealed to our family last October, our lives had significantly changed. We had graduated, moved states, changed jobs, and how to acquire child numero tres was not as clear. In fact, Nick wasn't even sure there was a third child to be acquired. There was a lot of praying, fasting, and discussing to do.

Let me go back in the timeline a bit. In New Mexico where we live, adopting through LDS Family Services is just not an option. They cannot legally do basically anything in this state, which brought us back to the baby acquiring drawing board. We looked into adoption through the state, but when we went to the orientation they needed a longer time commitment than we knew we would even be here since Nick's Post-Doc is a temporary position. We called adoption agencies across the state and some of them seemed like viable options, but we felt no inclination to move forward with any of them. We also looked into fertility treatments again and met with one of the two doctors in Albuquerque about what he would recommend to move our family forward.

And it was a really good meeting.

I want to make this perfectly clear: it is not a life-goal of mine to get pregnant. I have no interest in experiencing the miracle of growing life inside of me or breast-feeding or anything that goes along with biological children. However, I absolutely have a life-goal of getting my children to our family no matter what that path entails.

Frankly I don't want to go into every detail of our decision making process at this time because this blog post would get way too long. That being said, I have had three rounds of bloodwork and taken a total of one pill, all of which to begin fertility treatments again.

Our doctor has recommended we do In-Vitro Fertilization, and so that is what we have decided to do.

I absolutely want to adopt again someday in the future, but our journey to bambino number 3 has begun, and we are so excited to be moving our family forward in this incredible new way!

As I write this news out, I feel like I have so much more to share, but all in good time I suppose. We have seen the Lord's hand evident in the decision-making process and in the providing of means to do this very intense and expensive fertility treatment. Just like adoption was right for us in acquiring our first two children, IVF is right for us right now. This may not result in a child (reasonable risk), but it is how our family is to move forward.

We share this with you, our readers, because this blog was a healing place for me throughout the adoption process, and I will definitely need healing moving forward. Hopefully the little bit of time for our next little miracle will be as transformative as our first two little miracles...and perhaps less paperwork!

 There is a lot I want to share with you, and as always, please ask questions of any kind -- sincere questions are never offensive!

Turn Down the Funk

I got a bit grumpy yesterday afternoon for really no reason at all. Sure I felt like I was juggling 18 different things and had to get to soccer practice and there was little cooperation from the kids, but that's just normal Tuesday business.

It was when I full-on raised my voice, throwing out the middle name and everything, because I thought Alexa was squirting her Capri-Sun all over the patio when in fact it was just a spray bottle that I realized I was clearly in the wrong. I gave her a hug and tried to mend it, but the damage had been done...harshly and unnecessarily.

There's a saying: "Four things come not back: the spoken word, the spent arrow, the past, the
neglected opportunity." - Omar Idn Al-Halif

Truly there was no reason for the little funk I was in, but instead of really trying to get out of it, I made small, pathetic efforts and lost my temper again. It was silly and really bumming everybody out! Eventually the evening got better, but it was not because of me.

This morning I read a beautiful message by the Prophet of God concerning love, and it was the best parenting advice I've received in a long while -- possibly ever. Here are some excerpts from that message (emphases added):

"'Why is it that the [ones] we love [most] become so frequently the targets of our harsh words? Why is it that [we] sometimes speak as if with daggers that cut to the quick?' The answer to these questions may be different for each of us, and yet the bottom line is that the reasons do not matter. If we would keep the commandment to love one another, we must treat each other with kindness and respect."

"I would hope that we would strive always to be considerate and to be sensitive to the thoughts and feelings and circumstances of those around us. Let us not demean or belittle. Rather, let us be compassionate and encouraging. We must be careful that we do not destroy another person's confidence through careless words or actions."

"As we arise each morning, let us determine to respond with love and kindness to whatever might come our way."

For me it is easy to forget sometimes that because my children do not always treat me with love and kindness or as a person with needs or feelings that it's okay to treat them the same way. But I, as their mother, need to exemplify the behavior I want them to emulate, and thus need to remember that children are people, too, like me, with tummies that get hungry and cause crankiness, or with frustrations that they need help to overcome, or simply with days that they just get into a funk for no reason at all!

In my quest to yell less and love more, I have thought many times "she is a person -- how do you speak to a person?" It's been simple, but powerful, because the reasons for harsh words and short-tempers do not matter when we've been commanded by Jesus Christ himself to "love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."

So no matter what, I will do my best to respond with love and kindness to whatever might come my way, because I want to feel confident in knowing that my behavior, specifically my words and tone, would not change if the Savior stood beside me.

Today has been much less funky.

I Could Not Have Known

Two years ago I could not have known this morning would be so hard.

I could not have known that it would take every ounce of calm I had to keep from either screaming at her or crying in the corner.

I could not have known that my wonderful Mommy Plans of going to the library would be thwarted by a decision between milk and water.

But even though I could not know those things, I also could not have known that over two years, (with all the tantrums and fights, and screaming for hours) how much I would love her.

I could not have known how much of me I see in her, which is surprising, frustrating, but mostly exciting.

I could not have known how much I want to help her learn, grown, expose her to new and wonderful things, and simply be around her.

I could not have known how even though she brings out the worst in me, she also is able to refine me and makes me better everyday.

I could not have known how happy I am to have her in our eternal family...and how because of her I can better know how much I want James in that family too.

4 more days until an eternity of unknowns with James!!

September 20th

2011:

2013:

Alexa was legally ours in 2011 on September 20th and eternally ours October 8th.

James was legally ours in 2013 on September 20th and will be eternally ours October 12th.
 

I love this time of year when we will forever celebrate our family coming together!! 

Let's Get Established, Yeah Yeah Yeah!

"Who, being loved, is poor?" -Oscar Wilde

Okay, cards on the table: I got married when I was 19-years old. Yup, I was a baby, and I looked like a baby, too. See?

It's crazy to think how young I was, and when I tell people, even those of the Mormon faith who tend to marry young anyway, I usually say my surprising young age with a quiet and ashamed voice. Not because I think I made a poor choice, but it seems to me that the world thinks I missed out on a lively single-life experience or that because of my marrying age divorce is inevitable or something along those lines.

Well, amid the sea of statistics and opinions that say Nick's and my marriage (he was only 23) is destined to be ridden with regrets and separation, a friend found and shared an article with me that helps me lift my head with pride about my decision to marry young!

"The fairytale wedding is [seen as a] gateway into adult life. But in my experience, this idea about marriage as the end of the road is pretty misguided and means couples are missing out on a lot of the fun."

 

The article goes onto say a lot of other things, but the jist of it is that since we all have to get financially established and secure our place in the world anyway, why not do it married to your favorite person and enjoy that establishing period all the more??

Good question!

The first example to the contrary I can think of is Scrooge in The Muppet's Christmas Carol who had someone he really cared about and lost her because they didn't have enough money for a descent home.

You maybe snickering to yourself because that maybe a juvenile example, but it's one that is not far from how some people choose to go about their single life -- alone AND poor. How sad! Why not be poor WITH someone who makes poverty a lot more pleasant??

A close friend asked us yesterday if we've been in school our entire married life, and we confirmed their suspicions. You could absolutely say that for the past 7+ years of marriage Nick and I have been getting "established." We don't have tons of excess resources. Neither of us ever spent a summer backpacking through Europe. Our birthday and Christmas gifts have usually been very small and inexpensive items. More than once we've bailed each other out of tough/expensive fixes using creative methods. We have had to say to each other many times four of the most loving words one mate can say to another: "We can't afford it." 

However, like the article said: we have also had so much fun!!  There's not a thing about my financially poor life with Nick that I would change because it has not felt like it was lacking in anything that truly matters! Oh how I love cuddling up with him at night and reminiscing about the life we've established together -- side-by-side, hand-in-hand, as we smile and laugh because we haven't had waffles in months since there are no extra resources to replace our broken waffle iron.

As I look ahead to our 10th, 15th, 20th, 50th, etc. anniversaries, I think how precious these "good ole' days" are going to be to us! How grateful I am to have found my eternal mate so early in my life and to have had the extraordinary opportunity to get established along side him!

Happiness is..."Bruhver Mange"

Before James was born I was worried, at times, that I wouldn't have enough love for both my kids, or that I wouldn't be able to love a boy the way I love my baby girl.

When we first brought James home from the hospital, I was still a little worried because, frankly, I didn't know him very well and while I did love him...it just wasn't the same.

Over the few weeks he's been here I have absolutely fallen completely head over heels in love with my James, but one thing that helped me trust in the love I had for him was the unconditional love Alexa has had for her "Bruhver Mange"  since the first moment she saw him.

I am so happy and feel so blessed that, for however brief a time, my children don't fight and love each other very much! We all really love our Bruhver Mange!!

My Arms and Heart Are Full!

Recently I have found my arms to be very full. Most recently that happened in church today when Nick was asked to sit on the stand to leave me with my two beautiful babies.

That's right readers, two!

James Robert Nelson, born 3/17/13 -- he's our lucky little leprechaun

I am very much aware I haven't posted in a couple weeks, but that's because, like I said, my arms have been a little full. I'll give more details about my beautiful new family (including our beautiful new birthmom) tomorrow and later this week, but on this Easter Sunday, my thoughts are focused more so on my Savior.

My arms have been full of children mostly (along with bottles, burp cloths, and oh, so many diapers!). Because of this I wish I could always have a floating camera and photographer at the ready because I would have them take pictures of us instead of me unloading all my goods and try to finagle a sweet picture of a now lost moment.

For example, I would get a picture of James in my left arm and Alexa cuddled under my right arm as we all snuggle on the couch together. I would have gotten a picture of us in church today when Alexa laid her head on my left leg and I was holding James in my right arm. Thinking about how my Lord and Savior has immeasurably blessed my life while holding my little angels in my arms has been my favorite part of this Easter Day.

I always tell people that I've had a hard time imagining myself as a mom of two in the past because...I don't know, I guess imagining one child was fairly easy. I just assumed I would always have one child because it was so important to me. What I've discovered today is that vision of my life with two kids was always difficult to imagine because I thought it was a bit presumptuous, after all I've already been given, to ask God for a child, and then downright selfish to ask for another when so many people I know would give all they have for just one child.

I'm so glad (and moved to tears) that God is merciful enough to grant us the desires of our hearts even when we have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Additionally, He will comfort us through the power of the infinite atonement as we wait for the tears to drop from our eyes so that we are able to see the hand of God, ever present, in our lives. How patient and merciful He is with us, and how willing He is to bless us with more than we would ever dream of asking for!

 Happy Easter from the Nelson Family, all 4 of us!

Truly, my arms and my heart are full today!

Music Monday

Your Heart Will Lead You Home, Kenny Loggins

 Alexa has been really into The Tigger Movie on Netflix recently, and my favorite part (aside from how she gets so excited about "IGGER!") is the ending credits when this song comes on.

Call me an old sap, but Kenny Loggins is so great!

Happiness Is... Going to Church

We love Sunday's. Here was today's schedule:

• 8:30 AM - 10:00 AM: Nick attends Elders Quorum presidency meeting.
• 11:00 AM - 2:00 PM: Our family attends church. Rachel conducts Young Women's. Alexa rocks nursery.
• 4:15 PM - 5:15 PM: Rachel attends ward choir practice.
• 7:00 PM - 8:30 PM: Rachel attends a fireside commemorating the 40th anniversary of the creation of the Boulder Stake.

And this actually was a fairly calm Sunday compared to some in the past month. We even had time to take a family picture in our Sunday best.

We really love Sundays!

Applying for Jobs is Complicated!

Nick has been applying to a number of jobs in a variety of fields across the country, and so far has a couple of offers. We're so thrilled! The problem is that now we have to make a lot of serious decisions, and decision-making is not my forte. 

Living in Oregon right next to our family was never really an option for us, simply because Nick has always wanted to teach at a major research university, and Oregon only has a couple of those. But now we have to figure out our preferences for salary, career path, and location. Like how far are we willing to live away from our family in Oregon and for how long? Are we willing to sacrifice salary for preferred career path? And the questions go on and on...

Additionally, we have some birth family in Colorado to consider and that we'd really like to be close to them as well. And of course, recently spending time in Oregon with our families is not making the decision easier. I mean, how are we supposed to keep our kids away from this kind of love in their lives?

We'll keep everyone posted on job updates when we can, but until then, just enjoy your homes,  families, and not packing for the time being. That's what we'll be doing!

Music Monday: Les Misérables Quick Review

"On My Own," Les Misérables

I saw the movie over the break with my mom and sisters (who aren't serving missions). We had the best time! We laughed and cried and laughed again; it was wonderful! We literally passed a box of kleenex between us and enjoyed our snuck-in candy. It was such a great night!

Here's my review: Jackman as Jean ValJean was out of this world amazing! Hathaway as Fantine gave a really good acting performance which made up for her pretty good singing performance. Seyfried as Cosette was forgettable, but didn't ruin anything. Isabelle Allen, who played young Cosette, definitely helped me to love older Cosette more and filled in the Cosette character where Seyfried fell short. Allen was so incredible! Crowe as Javert was a huge disappointment, especially since Jackman was so good! You really need someone to equally counter ValJean's purity and goodness with coldness and malice, and Crowe just didn't even come close in acting or singing.

For me, the stand out performance (other than Jackman) was by Samantha Barks who played Eponine. Her voice, as you heard on the trailer, is gorgeous, and when she and Marius (played by Eddie Redmayne who also was incredibly wonderful) sang "A Little Fall of Rain" I bawled like a small child. It was so beautiful and heart-wrenchingly good! The whole movie was worth it just for that!

I would link-up to a clip of that song, but this version is the next best thing. I can't even buy it on iTunes yet, which is just not right to subject someone to such beauty and then withhold it from Amazon. But I'm strong, and I can be patient! Enjoy!

"A Little Fall of Rain," Les Misérables

It's Nice Being Home

Our family headed to Oregon for a two week vacation over New Year's and into January. It was such a wonderful time with family and friends! We filled our time with a myriad of activities taking in the culture and scenery of the Pacific Northwest by...

enjoying Burgerville milkshakes

lounging on the couch with Nick's parents

eating cheese sticks with Uncle Jacob

getting crazy with Cousin Abby

playing at OMSI with Cousin Patrick

hugging family members

and going to breakfast with friends!

We had a wonderful time, but it is so nice to be home, where we can feel comfortable in our own skin, clothes...or whatever.