A Little Time, A Little Miracle

My Valentine Can Romantically Beat Up Your Valentine

2012-02-14T11:00:00.000-07:00

Yesterday while organizing the filing cabinet (super fun!) I came across a letter that was written to me exactly 6 years to the day prior. This was written by Nick to me for Valentine's Day when we were engaged. I'm not going to share all of it with you, but here are some of my favorite parts:

"To really show you how much I love you will take an eternity of love and devotion."

"You are the highlight of my life...I have been told that if you do it right, life just keeps getting better and better. With you, I can see how that could easily be the case."

"I love you, Miss Sullivan, and I always will...I can't wait to start our life together."

I love my husband so much, and after 7 years of being together, I just can't believe that I love him so much more than I thought I could! He is everything I could ever want for myself, my daughter, and my life. I am so blessed to have him walk with me, hand in hand, everyday for the past 7ish years!

And if that wasn't enough to convince you of how wonderful Nick is, look how cute he is with his girls!

Happy Valentine's Day (even though your valentine isn't as wonderful as mine)!

Music Monday

2012-02-13T07:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, so the song I want to share is Kiss by Prince, but that music video is...well, it's not really inappropriate, but there are just some things in there that you can't unsee...like a full-grown man wearing some-type of sprts bra thing. So, below is a video from Happy Feet featuring a portion of the song. Enjoy!

Kiss by Prince

Yes, the voiceover is in Espanol. Don't hate, the song is great!

Here It Goes Again

2012-02-08T13:15:00.000-07:00

We have them. They're sitting next to my laptop on the table. Our folder with our adoption paperwork is right here, and it has begun again.

I started them just as soon as I got home with them last week, and then I stopped. I don't know, I thought this go-round would be easier, less unfamiliar, but honestly it feels like I've gone back in time a few years. I'm just as unsure of my capability to parent as I used to be. Just as unsure of the process as I used to be. Just as unsure of the heartaches and joys ahead of us as I used to be.

Ya know what's changed? I know this is what I want. I think maybe the first time around I was always hoping just a little that I would get pregnant and we could be done with the whole adoption thing, just because at times it was so hard. But now, I'm kinda horrified to get pregnant. I WANT to adopt another beautiful baby like the one I already have adopted more than anything in the world.

If the next baby wanted to cuddle a little more than my first I wouldn't complain at all, but my desire is not for a carbon copy baby, it's for another beautiful adoption.

And so we walk forward in uncertainty and trepidation, but with a "perfect brightness of hope", because no matter how long it takes or how hard the pathway is, I have seen the other side, and it is oh so good.

So prepare yourselves for an onslaught of changes happening around the blog. A lot of requests to help our family grow will be coming your way, (our references have already been contacted...what great people we know)! A lot of adoption updates complete full of triumphs and trials!

Y'all ready for this? (dun nun nuh nun nun nun...) I hope we are!

Music Monday

2012-02-06T12:34:00.000-07:00

It has been a completely crazy week! From Arizona and back and then Nick and Alexa got sick, like really gross sick! Anyway, it has been all I can do to keep the house clean and not smelling like fecal matter or vomit. TMI? Forgive me, but you had to know that I had a really good excuse for not posting!

Onto the music! Yesterday after church (I was the only one that went) I came home to a quiet house and had a real hankering for some My Fair Lady, so that's what we're listening to today! Just in case you didn't know, Julie Andrews is the singing voice for Eliza Dolittle. Nick didn't know, and when he found out he decided that doing that kinda breaks musical rules. Oh well, it's still wonderful!

Loverly, Julie Andrews

Music Monday

2012-01-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today Alexa and I are in Arizona attending the funeral services of Nick's Uncle Jamie. A wonderful man who will be missed deeply! This song has been on my mind since his death, and I find peace in knowing that Jamie is no longer entrapped by the limitations of his mortal body and is rejoicing in the presence of his God.

Amazing Grace, LeAnn Rimes

Book Review: The Hiding Place

2012-01-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

The Hiding Place, by Corrie ten Boom (this is the edition I have)

I realize that many people out there have read this book, possibly in high school for an English or history assignment, but since I've only got into reading in the past few years I'm a little behind the times. This book has been on my to read list for quite sometime, and I knew before I even picked it up it would be spectacular.

And it was! So, so incredibly spectacular!

Here is a small taste of what this autobiography is about (for those of you who are needing to catch up on your classic literature as I am): Corrie ten Boom is a Christian and was involved in the underground work of saving Jews during the Holocaust. Her father, brother, and two sisters were also involved in saving hundreds of Jewish lives by making sure they stayed out of harms way and even hiding some Jews in their home for an extended period. Her entire family was discovered in their work and taken into a Nazi prison camp. The book carries you through Corrie's experiences from before her underground work, to how it all began, to the prison camps, and home again.

Things I absolutely loved about the book were that it's almost as if you are sitting down and talking with Corrie as you read and she is telling you her incredible story. It's so personal, and at the same time so matter-of-fact, I just couldn't stop myself from reading more. I read the majority of the book in only two naptimes and one evening, which is super fast for this slow-reader. Another thing I loved was that about the first third of the book was just Corrie telling you about her life pre-underground and pre-prison. At first I thought "when are we going to get to the exciting stuff?", but once we were there, I longed to read more about her family whom she loved so much! Which is exactly how she felt. She longed to be with them, too. I love it when a book draws you in like that, so you actually feel what the person in the book is feeling! I cried when she said she cried, I rejoiced in her victories. It was a journey through a time and place with which I was not familiar with an admired and respected friend.

Things I didn't absolutely love...nada. Zilch. Zippo.

5 Freakin' Fabulous Stars for this book!

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I'd recommend to anyone at anytime! It has changed the way I look at my own life and will definitely be used in some future talk or lesson at church. Don't borrow this book, buy it! You'll want a copy to have on your shelf to reference and to read again and again!

"There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still." (p. 240)

"...joy runs deeper than despair." (p. 257)

Thank you so much, Jen! You are the best Christmas gift-giver ever! (Nick loves his tie "necklace" and Aly loves her signing video, but you knew all that already...I just like saying tie "necklace". Hehe.)

Next on my to-read list is Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Patton for book club, which is next week, so I had better get to it! Happy Reading!

Not Great, but Okay

2012-01-26T16:43:00.001-07:00

Why is the word "died" so hard to say? When we found out about Uncle Jamie's death, the email said he "passed away," and as I relayed the message to close friends, I said the same. This morning while talking with a new friend I asked her about her kids. She has a son who died of SIDS at 6 months old, and she said "he...ya know...he would have been 2 years old." And even if someone does manage to get the word through their lips, doesn't it always seem like they're choking on it a bit?

Maybe because the word is so short. Harsh. Permanent. Maybe because the term "passed away" lingers for a moment, so does the memory of the person in our minds and hearts. I honestly don't know.

Uncle Jamie playing softball with his daughters last summer.

Another new friend came over for dinner on Sunday night. His father died two years ago, his younger brother died when he was 18, and my friend had an older brother die in his crib before my friend was born. Let me tell you, my friend throws around the words "he died" like he would say "he took out the garbage." At first I was thrown off by his casualness, but my friend was not being casual in his regard for his dad and brothers, he's comfortable with their situation.

They're dead, and that's okay. Not ideal for my friend, but okay. And it's okay to say that they're dead, just as it's okay, and accurate, to say we are alive.

Of course I don't mean to be flippant towards the individual grieving process, but while dying is sometimes tragic and difficult, death itself does not have to be. There is hope and glory in death, and that's okay. It's not easy for us who must temporarily lose a loved one, but it's okay.

For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.

For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord’s.

For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living.

Romans 14:7-9 (emphasis added)

So, since I intend to practice what I preach...

My Uncle Jamie died on Saturday, and I will miss him, and it pains me knowing his wife, daughters, and grandchildren have to live the remainder of their time on this earth without him. My nephew Sam also died, and my heart still aches for him. And that's okay. Not great, but okay.

Music Monday

2012-01-23T08:24:00.001-07:00

I'll Fly Away by Kanye West

Nick's Uncle Jamie passed away from skin cancer on Saturday. Alexa and I are lucky to be able to fly out to Arizona for his funeral next week. He will surely be missed here, but we find hope and peace in knowing he is with his Savior and reunited with some of his loved ones who have flown away before him. Our thoughts and prayers are with his wife, daughters, and grandchildren.

Happiness is...A Day Outside

2012-01-20T16:27:00.000-07:00

So for those of you not from or familiar with Colorado's climate, it's what one would call schizophrenic weather. For example, it's the middle of January, and today and yesterday it was about 60 degrees out, and last week it was about half that outside. Needless to say, it was great to get out and play in the park. See?

I love my baby loving life! Have a lovely weekend y'all!

DIY Name and Birth Stats Print

2012-01-19T20:21:00.002-07:00

Yup, I made that. For Alexa's room. Now, Nick thinks it's a little silly to put "word art" up in a room of someone who can't read it, but I figure decorating her room is not really about her at all at this point in her life. I like it, it's not my favorite thing ever, but it will spice up some wall space no problem.

Happy Thursday!

Kung Fu Adoption Awesomeness

2012-01-17T07:00:00.012-07:00

Nick and I watched Kung Fu Panda 2 on Saturday night, and neither of us knew about the adoption overtones throughout the movie.

Oh, you didn't know about them either? Well, spoiler alert: Po's father, the Goose, adopted Po the Panda. Once Po found that out, he spends the rest of the movie asking the question "Who am I?" and "Where did I come from?"

In Nick's and my review of the movie this morning, I kind of found that storyline to be a bit...dull. Maybe these questions are pertinent to adoptees of another generation, and maybe other parents now have a big reveal to their kids that they were adopted, but frankly, as a participant in an open adoption relationship, I just don't understand it.

We have a picture of Ray, Melissa, Ray's dad, and Bjorn (Ray's son) up in Alexa's bedroom. We're going to visit them in a couple weeks. They're apart of our lives, as is adoption, and they will all continue to be a part of our lives forever.

We may have to have a "Do you understand what adoption is?" talk with Alexa sometime in the future, but not a "You were adopted" talk like Po had with his father.

Do you know who else agrees with me on this point? Angelina Jolie (and I assume Brad Pitt), one of the stars of Kung Fu Panda. Below is a portion of an interview she had regarding the movie and they talked about how she plans on revealing to her kids they were adopted. I like her response at 1:09 in the video (apparently YouTube's queue feature isn't as awesome as open adoption).

It's interesting to me that adoption to people that aren't in it is such a thrilling storyline for movies and books. This whole self-discovery because one wasn't raised by their biological parents just doesn't resonate with me at all anymore. Why should Alexa be confused about who she is anymore than any other self-reflective child/teen? If anything I would think adoption provides more information for a child to discover their true identity as not only a child of God, but they're also a child to their birthparents, and a child to their adoptive family. Three sources of information from people that love her as their own child...that is/will be really nice.

What a blessing open adoption is!

Music Monday

2012-01-16T07:00:00.002-07:00

You and I, Ingrid Michaelson

We dance around to this song a lot at our house!

Friday the 13th My Butt

2012-01-13T23:41:00.001-07:00

The rest of the week has felt like this:

And today felt like this:

Take that cracked lips and new tooth (that's seven)! Apparently Friday the 13th is our lucky day!

Book Review: Matched

2012-01-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have a lot to say about this book, but I will try to be brief with some bullet-points. If you decide to read it be prepared for the following:

• It's a trilogy, so it leaves you hanging at the end of the book.
• It's a dystopian society that uses statistical analysis to make intelligent decisions for people, which I liked. Statistics are way interesting, and so basing a society off of that seemed interesting as well. Very cool premise!
• It's written from the perspective of a 17-year old girl.
•There's juvenille uses of grammar and punctuation, which I did not appreciate. (YAs don't need more examples poor uses of the English language, especially a professionally printed example. I'll allow casual grammar in a casual setting, like a blog, but not in a book...that's sacred.)

In summary, I appreciated the plight of the characters, but the heroine was so annoying to me! I got halfway through and just kept on waiting for the book to be done so I could get out of this girl's head! So many melodramatic phrases and thoughts, and I just don't care what happens to her anymore. I've read other YA novels before with teenage characters that I didn't find nearly this annoying. I was 17 once and I don't have any desire to re-visit that time, especially with a girl who says things like

"Except. The face I saw, the face that was not Xander: I knew him, too"

and

"I will try to forget that Ky said 'home' when he looked into my eyes".

Gag me! I think I've made my point. I don't know that I'll finish the trilogy or not, maybe I'll just wait for the movies. If I do read the next book, Crossed, it won't be for a while...I need to read some books that don't create penetrating sentences like "But." Fo' reals!

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

I've already started my next book, "The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom, and it's already so much better just 20ish pages in! And the book after that will be "Cry, the Beloved Country" by Alan Patton. That should satisfy my intellect for a little while, and then maybe a well-written novel just for fun!

I've included Matched in my Book Review Rating System, just in case you need a refresher of how I rate my books.

Music Monday

2012-01-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Days/Get Happy by Glee Cast

How We Spent Our Winter Vacation, by Rachel Nelson

2012-01-06T17:20:00.001-07:00

We read classics (like That's Not My Dragon) with Grandpa.

We got re-acquainted with Uncle David.

We rode on The Polar Express with Cousins Joshua and Zachary and Grandma.

We tickled cousin Patrick with Aunt Jen (our friend Julie helped).

We watched cousins Anna and Kaitlyn share a tricycle.

We lounged (and then hit-up Taco Bell and Muchas Gracias later).

We played with Legos.

We opened Christmas gifts with Daddy.

We got make-overs (well, some of us did).

We went out for Chinese...so delicious!

We used a cup.

We posed for pictures.

We went shopping.

And we said goodbye.

Rachel's sister, Suzy, began an 18-month mission for the LDS church on the day we left Oregon. So exciting, but a bit sad also.
To learn more about what she'll be doing, click here.

The end.

Mom & Dad Nelson's 30th Aniversary

2012-01-05T16:04:00.001-07:00

On December 29th, 1981 Nick's parent's were married and 29 years, 364 days later their children and grandchildren threw them a little party. It was great little party on the only day that (almost) everyone was able to be there - we missed you DaNeill, Keira, Aysa, and Phoebe - but it was a great chance to get together and celebrate what Mom and Dad have built over the past three decades.

Rachel (with a lot of help from Kandice, Jessica, Cassidy, Camille, and Aly) put together a lovely video of photos from the Nelson family's first 30 years. Enjoy!

For those of you paying attention, yes, the date on the video is wrong. Interestingly, all of Nick's siblings somehow got Mom and Dad's anniversary off by one day. Nick said it was the 28th several months ago and somehow nobody caught the mistake (including Nick) until the start of the party when Mom mentioned that their anniversary was the 29th.

Mom and Dad go to all the trouble to raise us and we can't even be bothered to get their wedding date right.

Music Monday

2011-12-26T13:47:00.002-07:00

Home for the Holidays, Perry Como

We're headed home for the New Year holiday tomorrow! So excited!!

One More Sleep...

2011-12-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

...til Christmas! We are so grateful this year for so much and look forward to 2012 filled with (we hope) just as many blessings! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

In our Christmas PJs, which Alexa promptly vomited on less than a minute after we got them on...she smelled awful for the picture!

Snowed In

2011-12-22T23:09:00.001-07:00

I don't think it's ever happened before, but we were literally snowed into our house today. With an accumulation of somewhere around 12" and a drift just beyond our driveway of about 24", when Nick did try to leave, he got stuck and we had to push the car back (mostly) into the driveway. That just meant that instead of being busy doing all sorts of things outside the house, we got to focus on busyness inside the house.

And occasionally inside-the-house-busyness leads to tickling!

Don't you love that they're making the EXACT same face?!

And sometimes it leads to kissing.

Being snowed in is nice in someways...until we run out of milk.

At the End of the Day

2011-12-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

I feel like everything recently is just barely staying under control. Yes the house is cean-ish and dinners are getting made and projects are getting done, but I'm only getting like 6 hours of sleep at night and just going all day long. The holiday season is wonderful, but I'm getting to be tired of some of the Christmas songs I have heard too much and I'm just generally tired. I am looking forward to when life slows down a little bit...whenever that is...maybe January...or March?

So, towards the end of a busy day, one of the best ways to wind down is to goof around with Nick and Alexa while we get her wiggles out...

...and then relax over a nice bottle. Bliss.

Music Monday

2011-12-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

The Christmas Waltz, She & Him

Standing for Something

2011-12-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

So, Alexa has stood up twice...we think. See the thing is we have each seen her standing, but we have no idea how she got there! That sneaky girl stood up without us getting to see her, TWICE! Anyway, the second time Nick had the presence of mind to snap a picture, for evidence.

As you can see, she's a Mac girl.

The Best Days

2011-12-15T11:02:00.001-07:00

As part of my 101 in 1001, I've decided to begin a blog dedicated to completing a 365-day photo challenge in which I take at least one picture a day for 365 days and then post them on that blog.

The idea is that I'll be documenting The Best Days of my life over the next year. There's a best thing in everyday, and I can tell you're excited to see what ours are!

The link is along the sidebar, but it's also right here, so feel free to click if you wish, or click the button below!

Here's a small sneak peak at what you'll see today:

Happiness is...JCPenny's

2011-12-14T15:20:00.001-07:00

After weeks and months apart, we finally were able to see Ray, Melissa, and Bjorn (Ray's 11-year old son) this past Saturday! It was the best visit ever!

We met at a mall and had lunch (mall food isn't great, but sometimes it hits the spot, ya know?). Then we walked around and actually ended up in JCPenny playing on some model beds. Pillows are one of Alexa's new obsessions. We had such a wonderful time and are so grateful for the family we adopted right along with Alexa!

This is Alexa's cheesy smile.

She's starting to show off for the camera when we pull it out, which is both cute and

frustrating because it means she stops doing what we were trying to get a picture of.

Can you see where she gets her beautiful smile...and eyes?

We can't wait until the next time we get to see them!

PS They gave Alexa a stuffed bear, which we thought should have a Christmas name, so we named him "Buddy, the Elf, the Bear." She loves laying her head on him!

Music Monday: This Christmas Time

2011-12-12T10:56:00.004-07:00

This Christmas Time, by Lonestar

So much to be grateful This Christmas Time! I posted this song last year when we were hoping for another little girl to be with us, but even though there's been a lot of heartbreak between now and then, there's been so much more joy and hope and love.

Yesterday during a conversation with a friend Nick and I listed the three top things we were grateful for just off the top of our heads. Here they are:

Nick's List Rachel's List

1. Family 1. Family

2. Christmas 2. Adoption

3. Home 3. The Gospel

I think between the two of us we covered the most important things in our life right now. And in regards to Nick's second thing on his list:

"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say," returned the nephew. "Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!" A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens

Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

2011-12-08T07:00:00.001-07:00

Last week on Thursday was one of those days when life is just good. Things to do, but nothing extremely pressing outside the house. Good thing too, because it was snowing, which I love, just not when I have to go somewhere.

So, Alexa and I have been hanging out at the house a lot recently because of the weather. A lot of goofing around, cleaning, and this:

Just staring out the window watching the snow fall. It has been really nice and made me so grateful to be able to be at home with my {not so} baby girl.

Isn't life great?

Book Review: 33 Men

2011-12-07T17:34:00.000-07:00

33 Men: Inside the Miraculous Survival and Dramatic Rescue of the Chilean Miners

by Jonathan Franklin (Amazon, book description contains spoilers)

You remember this news story, right? Well, just in case you don't, it was kinda a huge deal, and I don't want to spoil things for you, so I'll try to leave out any details that may give things away.

I was a little skeptical about this book at first only because it seemed to come out way too fast after the event. Very commercialized and not respectful of the people in the tragedy. I felt the same way when the movie World Trade Center came out...just not the right thing to do (that movie came out 4 years after 9/11, and this book came out 4 months after the event was over). But once while at King Soopers I saw the book, picked it up, and I could barely put it down in the store! It was just so intriguing. So when Borders went out of business I jumped on that steal of a deal (I think 70% off or something like that) right away! ***This was part of my last purchase from Borders ever, so sad.***

First off, I really liked this book! It was detailed, informative, respectful, a couple swear words, but mostly just a really extensive news story. Downsides: if you have a weak stomach or don't like the dark side of the news it may not be for you; the second and third quarters of the book are pretty dismal. But I really like those kinds of stories, the ones that are bit edgy to make their point. I really didn't feel like too much of what was said was embellished just to be thrilling--parts were, of course--but that was really nice. Also, this story is different than other types of tragedies because the reporter had literally months to research and interview while the story was unfolding. Very different than the 9/11 movie in that respect.

Second off, if I hadn't got it on sale I probably would not have bought it. Knowing what I know now, it's just not a book I see myself picking up and reading again and again. It's a news story, not a journey per se. There's no "character development" because there are no characters, just people. I got what I wanted from it, and now I'm done. My point is that if you can get it from a friend or the library, I would do that. Save your money and buy a new pair of shoes, or some classic literature. Whichever suits your fancy.

So, my amateur rating for this book is

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

I did really love it, but I feel like a 4-star book is one I plan on re-reading or at least referencing again or glad I purchased. I would recommend this book to most people (Nick has no interest in reading it, just not his cup of tea). Additionally, the story introduces some ideas that maybe a bit mature for younger audiences, so not a good bedtime story for anyone under 16.

I'm still working on reading The Book of Mormon by the end of the year as well as reading my next book club book, Matched by Ally Condie.

Happy Reading!

Tuesday Tunes

2011-12-06T09:12:00.000-07:00

I know the blog has been neglected recently, but there is a noble art of getting things done, and a nobler art of leaving things undone. Priorities have been made recently, and blogging has just not made the cut. However, in all our activities Christmas music has filled the air! This song is one of my favorites, and I haven't heard it much on Pandora or the radio, so I thought I would share it now. I'm preparing posts for the rest of the week, so be excited!

What Child is This?/The Holly and the Ivy by Bing Crosby

Music Monday: It Feels Like Christmas

2011-11-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

We don't have many traditions yet in our home, but one is that Christmas music doesn't start until the day after Thanksgiving (it's not Thanksgiving's fault there's no music for the holiday), and another is we kick off the Christmas season by watching Muppet's Christmas Carol. It is such a great movie/adaptation! Highly recommended if you haven't seen it, or even if you have!

The Day After...

2011-11-25T17:27:00.001-07:00

After Thanksgiving that is, which is wonderful! Everyone treats it like a holiday, even though it's just a Friday.

A completely magical Friday!

The Friday after Thanksgiving means that Christmas festivities and music can begin in our house! It means leftover pie for breakfast! It means turkey sandwiches for lunch...and dinner! It means watching football and lounging in sweats all day! It means minimal chores! It means online Christmas shopping (and 4am shopping if I'm feeling crazy and have a shopping buddy)! Most importantly it means that I get to spend time with my favorite people in the world!

Aly has taken to acting like the most adorable puppy ever recently!

Aly and Daddy just before our Thanksgiving feast (Gerber Turkey, Rice, and Veggies for Aly. She also had rolls and pumpkin pie, like a whole piece)!

Thursday Thirteen #23: Gratitude

2011-11-24T05:00:00.003-07:00

Remember our last Thursday Thirteen? It's been a crazy year!

Last Thanksgiving we had just been contacted by our first fake birthmom, who was supposedly pregnant with triplets. I know, red flag, but she had contacted a case worker whom we talked with and he confirmed she had spoken with him about placing with us! So, we were hopeful.

From then to now we really have had a lot to be grateful for, so in no particular order:

1.

10.

11.

12.

13.

Happy Thanksgiving, and we hope you have as much to be grateful for this year as we do!

Music Monday

2011-11-21T11:16:00.000-07:00

Actual video embedding disabled, by request...which is stupid. But the below video works for me!

Let's Just Fall in Love Again, Jason Castro

Aly TV: On the Run

2011-11-20T17:28:00.001-07:00

We have previously commented on Aly's serve case of happy feet here and here, but lately she's developed a new symptom: running.

As you can see, this is getting serious.

Fahion Forward Friday

2011-11-18T11:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I came home from the gym (so long 6.2 LBS) to find Alexa already woken up and dressed by her wonderful daddy! One of the two of them, if not both, is very fashion forward because I never would have put this pair together.

Alexa does seem pretty excited about the exciting ensemble! Happy Friday!

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

2011-11-16T17:29:00.001-07:00

This past weekend we went to Idaho to visit Nick's grandparents. Great-grandparents are very great, but friends in the mirror are just a delight!

And even though friends in the mirror are super fun and extremely reliable, Grandmas are much better for playing with blocks!

And of course, what's a visit to great-grandparents' house with out the obligatory, but much anticipated, 4-generation picture?

We are so blessed to have such a great family, and fabulous friends in the mirror!

Tuesday Tunes

2011-11-15T12:12:00.001-07:00

So, we've been busy, as you could probably figure out by the lack of posts. We just got back from a whirlwind weekend with family in Utah, which was great, but REALLY hard with a 9 month old. So little sleep, but so much fun. We're trying to revive some normalcy today, so I'm throwing a shout out to my guys from BYU, Vocal Point, by showcasing one of last night's performances on The Sing-Off. I seriously am dreading next week because a group I really love will be going home (unless it's the Dartmouth Aires, they're good but not my favorite), and that makes me sad. Anyway, here's one of my all-time favorite performances from them! So good, guys!

Let me also just say, Pentatonix, for me at least, has been such an awesome surprise. I didn't like them at first, but ever since Video Killed the Radio Star, I have been such a fan! Also, I am so proud of Kevin for standing up for his beliefs and that his buddies backed him up. (Just in case you missed it, they changed lyrics to this song to support Kevin's religious beliefs, which I was so impressed with!)

Okay, enough nerdy fan obsessions from me for the day. Anyone else really geeking out over this show? Some really cute pictures coming up soon!

Music Monday: Happy National Adoption Month

2011-11-07T16:31:00.003-07:00

Stopping by Suburbs on a Snowy Morning

2011-11-03T12:44:00.001-06:00

After it snowed 7 inches Tuesday night, this morning I decided to stay in my sweats all day and during Alexa's nap read poetry. It was bliss (even though I paid for it in overdue blog posts and housework today)!

Additionally, it's National Adoption Month! Hurrah! One poem I read seemed to speak to all those who embark in the adoption journey in any fashion. And so, I dedicate this read poem to you, noble adventurers of adoption (when I read poetry my inner poet just can't help but burst out...sorry)!

How Did You Die?

Edmund Vance Cooke

Did you tackle that trouble that came your way
With a resolute heart and cheerful?
Or hide your face from the light of day
With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble's a ton, or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it,
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only how did you take it?

You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what's that?
Come up with a smiling face.
It's nothing against you to fall down flat,
But to lie there -- that's disgrace.
The harder you're thrown, why the higher you bounce;
Be proud of your blackened eye!
It isn't the fact that you're licked that counts,
It's how did you fight -- and why?

And though you be done to the death, what then?
If you battled the best you could,
If you played your part in the world of men,
Why, the Critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce,
And whether he's slow or spry,
It isn't the fact that you're dead that counts,
But only how did you die?

I think it's easy amidst trials, whatever they be, that we sometimes forget that the wounds of battle are proof that we fought (or tripped). Also, remembering why we chose a certain path when it can be surprisingly hard does not make that path easier, but just worth all the blackened eyes along the way.

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone, and Happy National Adoption Month to all!

PS I promise it's worth it!

Music Monday: Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T16:37:00.001-06:00

Happy Halloween! We're pretty scary villains, especially Nick (who is Horace, obviously).

From Pueblo to Eternity

2011-10-28T11:49:00.001-06:00

Our little Piglet was born in Pueblo, CO on Februrary 18, 2011.

On October 8, 2011, our family was sealed for eternity. Together forever.

Pictures by Davison Photography

I can't wait to see where we go next! (I just hope wherever it is it's a little warmer than our temple day. Seriously, it was so cold and snowed, which made pictures quite short!)

Good Riddance 2LBS, Hello Roses!

2011-10-27T18:20:00.000-06:00

My cousin Kara received 24 roses from her brother the other day because of a great loss in her life.

She lost 24 lbs. and her brother (and sister-in-law, my guess is she had something to do with it), sent her a rose for each pound lost. How awesome is that?!

When I reach my goal weight (which I'm 2 pounds closer to since this morning!), I hope someone sends me 16 roses.

Nick, I know you read my posts, so just keep this in mind for later!

Since two weeks ago I have gotten up by 6:15 most mornings, headed over to the gym, and worked out for at least 50 minutes. Somewhere around 40 minutes of cardio, then jumping rope or jumping jacks, and then a short ab work-out to finish things off. Also, I have really decreased my snack intake in between meals. I no longer graze all day, which I think gets me into trouble. I eat breakfast, a couple hours later I have a small snack (if I'm hungry), a couple hours after I have lunch (usually soup), a small snack a little later, then dinner. My snacks are no longer just hoards of whatever I can find. A few crackers and some fruit. It's good. And if I want ice cream, a couple bites work, I don't need 3 ginormous scoops. I'm not making huge changes, but lots of small ones.

Working out, eating less, and eating better when I do eat...who knew one could lose weight like that?

I'm also learning what foods I am willing to sacrifice, substitute, and not willing to do either. For example, I will not eat low fat ice cream, but low fat yogurt instead of the original is just fine. Reduced Fat Ranch dressing is pretty gross, but Reduced Fat Sour Cream is pretty indistinguishable from the original. Maybe over time my taste buds will evolve, but for now these small changes will do.

Counting calories doesn't work for me; my food choices need to focus more on portion control and substituting bad for good. We'll get from good to better and better to best eventually, but I'm staying positive and motivated, which is hard to do when you're making a lot of changes in diet and exercise.

What I'm trying to say is yay for me, and good riddance 2 lbs!

The Mommy Blues

2011-10-25T12:04:00.002-06:00

Good morning (afternoon to some) to you all! I just wanted to share something with you:

{dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh}

I got the blues. I got the low down...

my baby is crawling all over-eating by herself-getting two top teeth-and doesn't need her mommy anymore blues.

I've been kinda feelin' that way recently. I know it sounds a little crazy seeing as how she's only 8 months old, (and crying in her crib) but it's true. My little helpless baby is growing up too fast and before I need it won't need me to spoon feed her, change her diaper, or even get her dressed.

Did I mention she's getting hair? My little bald beauty baby is no more. So sad.

She maybe growing up, and it maybe a little sad, but it's also super cute! I've got bunches of adorable pictures in store for you, but this one of her eating birthday cake will have to do for today.

Enjoy her 8 month adorable-ness while you still can!

Music Monday: Camille, Keepin' Cancer Classy

2011-10-24T12:50:00.000-06:00

A few months ago Nick's sister, Camille, was found to have thyroid cancer. Today is her second surgery, and during the first surgery her left vocal nerve was damaged leaving her unable to sing, possibly forever, and she can barely talk. If her right vocal nerve is damaged during this surgery Camille may not be able to, without intervention, speak, swallow, or even breathe. We are praying and fasting for her and her surgeons today that everything will go well and her vocal nerve, as much as possible, will be free of the small little tumors so we can just nip that cancer thing in the bud and leave that vocal nerve untouched. If you have a spare moment, a prayer sent her way would be much appreciated.

Today's Music Monday is dedicated to Camille, who is always Keepin' Cancer Classy! We love you! Everything is gonna be alright, be strong, believe!

Happiness is...Fall Leaves

2011-10-20T12:06:00.000-06:00

We had a fun time playing in the fall leaves today, and reminded me how grown up my little baby girl is getting. She turned 8 months old on Tuesday! How crazy is that?! Happy fall to you all!

Music Monday

2011-10-17T11:45:00.001-06:00

I gotta post this video this week because I LOVE The Sing-Off and I LOVE jazzy-R&B and I LOVE this song and I LOVE this group, Afro-Blue! Seriously, the lead singer is ca-razy awesome!

And just because I love this group so much and I LOVE scatting and I LOVE this group's look, here's a bonus track from Afro-Blue:

Aly TV: Let Me Eat Cake

2011-10-15T08:52:00.000-06:00

Aly is getting very good at feeding herself these days, so for Nick's birthday we decided to let her loose on a piece of very moist chocolate cake. Aly actually got most of the cake in her mouth (and was on a sugar high for about an hour afterwards), but it took her almost 15 minutes of hard work. Here is her eating at 5 times normal speed along with a little musical accompaniment.

Isn't cake great?

Making My Workout Spiritual

2011-10-13T12:00:00.002-06:00

The more I study the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the more I realize that it is so profound in its simplicity. It's all about transformation.

Transforming sinners into saints, men and women into Gods and Goddesses, individuals into families, carnal into eternal, and, in this case 151.4 lbs. into 135 lbs.

151.4 lbs is what I weighed in yesterday morning, I think the most I have ever weighed in my life. I honestly don't know if other people can tell I weigh that much (I am quite muscular), but I can sure tell, and I don't like it.

And you know, I've said it before, I can do hard things, and so if I don't like something about my life, I can change it!

I have tried eating healthier and running daily in the past, and the thing with eating well and exercising is that when you do it consistently, it actually works! Two summers ago I weighed 135ish pounds and felt great and got compliments from people on how I looked. I had eating healthy goals and ran 2 miles 5 days a week (I know around here that's child's play, but back then that was a lot for me).

Back then I had been told by my Reproductive Endocrinologist that exercising daily would help the cysts on my ovaries chill out a bit and help the crazy medication he was giving me work better. So that was my motivation when I wanted to be lazy instead of run or when I got tired while running. I would push myself and say "This is for you little baby. I'm going to be better for you. I'm going to run faster for you. I'm going to run harder for you." And so on and so forth. It was all about becoming a mother, which worked as motivation for me back then.

Once we decided that adoption was our Plan A, my running eventually tapered off and became extremely sporadic, and became a decision I had to make everyday instead of one I had already made. For me losing weight cannot be just about the weekly weigh-in, because I won't lose weight everyday/week and sometimes I'm willing to sacrifice a pound or two for a delicious slice of cheesecake or a mountain of French Toast.

This is where making my workout and "diet" (I put it in quotes because 2,000 calories is what I should be eating, I'm just going to be more diligent about it) spiritual is so important. Weight loss goals come and go, but living physically well is a lifestyle, just like living spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually well are. It's about transforming the self that is "acted upon" by cravings and slothfulness into the self that acts upon those things with self-control and determination. (source, verse 14) It's about transforming the self that is eating too often to tidy the house into the self that is able to serve others because the new self has her life in order.

Source: happilymaintaining.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

I'll share more about the specifics of my workout and diet plan soon, I just thought I would pontificate upon some of my thoughts as of recently in regards to my body and how I am trying to accept it for what it is as well as make it the best I can! And as a parting thought, here was something I found extremely funny on Pinterest the other day. Enjoy!

Source: facebook.com via Rachel on Pinterest

PS As a little bonus, if I continue to get up at 6am daily and workout 6 days a week, I get to cross off a couple goals from my 101 in 1001 list. YAY!

Tuesday Tunes

2011-10-11T17:24:00.001-06:00

The Dog Days Are Over by Florence and the Machine (Weird video, I know)

After this past weekend, I'm really feeling this song; Details to come soon!

Photo compliments of my sister, Suzy. Thanks! Professional ones to come soon!

Abortion, Adoption, and Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T15:38:00.001-06:00

Steve Jobs was a titan in the electronic industry and generally a good man who inspired many people to also live their own dreams. He is and will be surely missed.

He was also adopted, and not aborted.

Not every mother considering abortion should instead place her baby for adoption, but consider this:

"Adoptions ensure that children are given life. Jobs’ adoption was very beneficial, creating and shaping him into the leader that he would later become.

What would a world look like in which Steve Jobs had been aborted?

Out of the 52 million abortions in the US in the past 38 years, how many other Jobs’s have we extinguished?" source, emphasis added

The world we live in now has been infinitely changed by this man and his courageous birthmom who chose to give him the opportunity to do so. We are especially grateful this day for all birthparents who made that same impossibly difficult decision.

I blogged about Steve Jobs' Stanford commencement speech before, but today I think it would be appropriate to watch it again and glean from this man just a small portion of what he gave to us. Rest in peace, Steve, and may your family be blessed in this difficult time!

"You've got to find what you love and that is as true for work as it is for lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you've found it." -Steve Jobs

Tuesday Tunes

2011-10-04T07:00:00.001-06:00

Jim Sturgess, All My Loving (Across the Universe)

Once I heard this version of this song I just could not help but get it! This movie was mediocre, but the music was spectacular, just like Moulin Rouge. Hey Jude is another great one from that film.

New Splash On Old Tradition

2011-09-29T11:36:00.001-06:00

A couple Sundays ago our little area of town lost power for a couple hours, so we decided to ditch the downed electric system and go on a walk. Sunday walks are a family tradition that Nick and I started many years ago, but have been given a bit more variety since Alexa started coming with us. One of our new favorite walk locales is Coal Creek. We used to walk by it all the time, but who knew playing in the water could be so much fun?!

Aly knew. That's who.

Guest Blogging Today!

2011-09-27T09:07:00.002-06:00

I'm a guest blogger today over at the Colorado Families Supporting Adoption blog. I'm talking about unpacking your bags and living life for today while hoping for the blessings of tomorrow. Come check it out and poke around at the other cool events and posts they have up!

I will also be singing at the fireside they are holding on November 7, 2011, so if you have any suggestions for great adoption-esque songs, let's have 'em!

As a parting gift, here is a picture of Alexa stuck under our bed.

This whole mobility thing isn't always what it's cracked up to be!

Happy Tuesday to you!

Music Monday

2011-09-26T08:24:00.000-06:00

Send It Up, Vertical Horizon

Another discovery from my 101 in 1001 to listen to all my iTunes songs. We're on track 436 out of 2190...slowly chugging along!

Happiness is... Our Day in Court

2011-09-21T20:02:00.002-06:00

Yesterday we had our court date for the finalization of Alexa's adoption. We were a little nervous - not that we thought anything had even a remote chance of going wrong, but because it's always a little bit unnerving to be reminded that other people have a say in whether Alexa would legally become a member of our family. To us we have been family for a long time and we've all known it since we first met on a fateful night in Pueblo.

The court date went very well. The judge, Magistrate Stapp, was great and he even stopped the official proceedings to comment on Alexa playing with her head-band. Everything went very smoothly and afterward he invited us up to stand to take a picture. He gave Aly a little stuffed panda bear, which she promptly shoved into her mouth.

A whole posse of some of our favorite people came to support us. Thanks to the whole crew - especially Ethan, Joseph, Wyatt, and Mason who made it so Nick wasn't the only boy there. Our thoughts were with Ray and Melissa, who are always in our hearts.

And of course we are eternally grateful to Kelly (left), the caseworker who is the best when it counts, and Ray, an attorney and adoptive father who donates his time to help couple like us adopt. He knows exactly what it feels like to stand in our shoes.

Court was great and a wonderful end to a long legal process, but for us the most important thing was that we walked out with a piece of paper.

That paper means that in two weeks we can go into the Denver Temple as a legal family and come out a forever family. We can hardly wait!

Music Monday

2011-09-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin, Op. 24: Waltz

So I started playing with a community orchestra as of last week. This piece was the first we played at our sight reading rehearsal, and needless to say, I nearly wet my pants. It's really hard! I am going to give it 3 rehearsals at least, practice a few times a week, and see how I feel. Hopefully I freshen up my skills and feel a lot better about the music after a few rehearsals. Also, if the conductor is a huge jerk, like Lauren says he is, then I may not want to continue, but we'll see if I can hide in the shadows enough not to get yelled at. I'm pretty sure my self-esteem couldn't handle it. Anyway, I'm excited to give it a shot, and if it doesn't work out, I know where to see some nice symphony concerts throughout the year!

Teeth Buddies

2011-09-18T19:22:00.000-06:00

On September 5th Alexa got her first tooth, and today we discovered its first buddy! Piglet was even cooperative enough to let us get a picture of her little buddies! We're such stupidly proud parents, but you have to admit, our girl is simply adorable! Happy Sunday to you all!

Girl, Not Boy; Placed, Not Given Up

2011-09-15T12:07:00.004-06:00

I know at this point in time some details about Alexa's life are really not all that critical enough that strangers or acquaintances get them right.

Her gender, for example, is something that is constantly getting muddled. (No matter how much/many pink/purple/flowers/hearts she is wearing, if there is no bow on her head, some old lady will approach me and say what a beautiful blue-eyed boy I have. Why are people obsessed with blue eyes? But I digress..)

Post-sweet potatoes eating experiment. Result: she likes them!

Another point that is not extremely important for strangers to get correct is one, like her gender, that I find very important! The fact that Ray and Melissa placed her in our family and did not just give her up seems unimportant to others unaware of the love they have for her, but to Nick and I, they placed her in our arms, home, and family with as much care as anyone has ever had for a child.

One of Alexa's favorite chew toys. The poor little guy has no eyes anymore.

And just like her gender, it only makes people uncomfortable when I correct them, especially when we just met. So when strangers or acquaintances ask why her "real" parents gave her up (a point corrected by my friend, Jill, here), I simply reply that "Alexa's birth-parents placed her with us because they love her, and wanted the best they could give her."

It's simple, yet so profound. It's a detail that I always want Alexa to know is vitally important to who she is and how her daddy and I view her.

Just like her gender.

What a beloved little girl we have that her Heavenly Father placed her with her birth-family who then placed her with her adopted family. All because they love her. How I love adoption and all of Alexa's families!

Aly TV: Happy Feet

2011-09-14T16:00:00.000-06:00

Aly has recently come down with a serious case of happy feet. She loves to dance when she's standing, swing her legs when she's being held, and kick the floor when she's rolling around. It's not unusual to hear repeated thumps coming from our wood floors these days as she idly kicks her heels into them.

Here's Piglet dancing (with a little help from Mom):

And here she is kicking the floor as she rolls:

I Can Do Hard Things

2011-09-14T09:55:00.001-06:00

I was originally going to make this post concerning a week I spent with Alexa, on my own, as Nick was at a conference in California. I felt good at the end of that week! I had done a lot of things I wasn't sure I could do, and I wanted to brag about it. And while the title of the post remains true, I would like to take this conversation to another place.

A place of humility instead of pride.

A place that I wish to take my little sister, Suzy, as she is about to embark on fulfilling a call from God to serve a mission in the Texas Houston area, come November 16th.

I want her, and all of you, to know that we, as children of a divine creator, can do hard things. I can do hard things. Before I ever think about retreating from something, I say this mantra to myself, and then re-evaluate. If it is not necessary that's one thing, but those things are not to what I am referring. I am saying I can do hard things that God wants me to do because he will make me capable to do them.

Just after Nick and I got engaged, and just after we decided to begin our family we read this speech given by Elder Jeffery R. Holland, one of the Lord's disciples on the earth today, in which he said

"Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For you have need of patience that after ye have done the will of God, ye receive the promise...We are are not of them that draw back into perdition...I think that is to say, sure it's tough, that is the way it has always been...Don't panic and retreat. Don't lose your confidence. Don't forget how you once felt. Don't distrust the experience you had."

I think about the experiences in my life that have given me the most cause for retreating. My first year in college was one, and my trial with infertility has been another. In both cases there was so much adversity that I doubted God remembered me at all, let alone had my best interests at heart. And both times I had experiences that proved those times of doubt completely false! And both times I received rewards for my continued efforts that I could never have imagined!

My pleading call to my little sister today is to always remember how much God loves you! Always remember and hold tightly onto the experiences you have had that testify of that truth to your heart! Always remember that no matter how hard life gets, now and forever, that as a beloved daughter of an almighty Father, you can do hard things! Always remember that "after you have gotten the message, after you have paid the price to feel his love and hear the word of the Lord, 'go forward.' Don't fear, don't vacillate, don't quibble, don't whine." The hard things you can do are completely worth their reward!

God is not cheap in his gift-giving like some of our relatives...you know who you are! ;)

Be strong, kid-o. Everything in life from here on out is going to be hard because you are doing good things and The Adversary wants to destroy good as often as He can. But always remember, you can do hard things! I love you so much, Suzy! You make everyone in our family so proud because of all the good that you do and the joy and hope you give to each of us as you daily remind us that we can all do hard things!

Just in case you'd rather not read the talk, this YouTube video gives highlights. Enjoy!

***One last, seemingly unrelated thought. Jen, our sister, gave me some advice before I left for BYU that I will never forget. She told me "People are the most important." More than anything else, how we treat others is a testament to how we live the Gospel of Jesus Christ. More than getting somewhere on time, more than getting work done, and even more than our own personal path of perfection. People, God's children, are His greatest glory, and they should be ours, too. That piece of advice has served me well, so I thought I would pass it along to you.***

I'm excited to hear about all the good, hard things you will do in the mission field! You will be surely missed, though. Perhaps more than I can understand right now. Love you!

Music Monday

2011-09-12T09:57:00.000-06:00

Windows Are Rolled Down by Amos Lee

This would definitely be Nick's choice this week. I really like the feel of this song, and while I think it's a little too deep for my intellect, I'll still try to figure it out because the song itself is beautiful. Enjoy!

Happiness is...Happy Feet

2011-09-09T13:43:00.000-06:00

Alexa has Happy Feet. Nick pointed this out yesterday, as she is constantly kicking or tapping something with her feet, usually her left one. She'll be laying on her back and tapping her heel on the floor, or be sitting on our lap kicking the table, or standing (while we hold her up) and beet-bopping around. It's super cute!

The other day (like a few weeks ago) I left her in her room to roll around and she was making noises, some happy, some not. Then, all of a sudden, it all stopped. This intrigued me and I went in to make sure she wasn't dead. This is what I found...

I know it's difficult to tell from this still image, but she was using her Happy Feet to kick and swing her swing. It was super cute! Ah the little joys in life! Have a joyful weekend!!

Thursday Latelies: A Video Post

2011-09-08T11:52:00.001-06:00

I'm video blogging today, and it's not even of Aly (don't let that deter you though)! Please don't laugh at me too much, but I hope you enjoy yourselves!

Here is a link to Bex's blog. And of course it's short for Becky...silly me.
Here is a link to the scarves I found on Amazon! So cute!
Here is a link to the pictures of Aly and Molly. They are so freakin' adorable!
And I forgot to mention about the jewelry board, it's covered with cheap-o fabric and ribbon from Hobby Lobby. Don't you love how everything there is like always 50% off?!

PS Isn't there something about seeing the person talking to you that makes you feel more connected with them? And doing this made me feel more connected with you, so that's double prizes!

Book Review: Outliers

2011-09-08T07:00:00.001-06:00

It seems like there is a lot to say about this book by Malcolm Gladwell. He begins with the assertion that there is no such thing as a self-made man, that extremely successful people (Outliers) have achieved so much because of their circumstances, families, and appetites for hard work. He then takes the rest of the book to provide examples of super achievers who back up his theory through very specific life experiences.

I'd definitely recommend this book as it was very interesting, my one complaint is that I feel like after a certain point I would be reading something and think "didn't he already make that point like 10 pages ago? I believed him then, so why is he trying to convince me again?" But shortly after that point he would tie everything together and I would get it...it just seemed to take a little while longer than I would have liked. Overall, I'll give Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Below are some of my favorite excerpts from my favorite section of the book:

"Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning. Once it does, it becomes the kind of thing that makes you grab your wife around the waist and dance a jig" (p. 150).

"...if you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires" (p. 151).

"Jewish doctors and lawyers did not become professionals in spite of their humble origins. They became professionals because of their humble origins" (p. 153). [This really hit me because of my own humble origins, and helped me realize all that I am because of how my life began.]

Next up is Life of Pi by Yann Martel, and I am working on reading the entire Book of Mormon by the end of the year in addition to my other reading.

Between a Buffet and a Living Place

2011-09-07T12:24:00.000-06:00

On occasion our little mobile Piglet begins to roll, and as we all know, it's hard to stop once you get rolling. This truth becomes hazardous when there are things, like buffets and couches, in your way. So sometimes she gets stuck between a buffet and a living place.

I try to get her to just roll the other way, but sometimes there is just no reasoning with an infant in distress.

"Until they have a baby to laugh at, lovers are always laughing at each other." -C.S. Lewis

She pretty much keeps us in stiches most of the time!

P.S. On Monday, in addition to her beginning to scoot on the floor instead of just roll, we also discovered another first: her first tooth!! What a big day for our little growing girl!

Music Monday

2011-09-05T12:29:00.000-06:00

Happy by Never Shout Never

By the by, our little roller is starting to get interested in the idea of moving forward rather than just side to side. My Mommy Pride will definitely be spilling onto the blog once she does, so you'll know when it happens! Happy Labor Day!

10 Million Strong...and Growing

2011-08-31T11:58:00.000-06:00

So we've reached it. Aly is 6 months old (as of about 12 days ago; it's been busy), and she just had her 6 month check-up, complete with measurements and immunizations, on Monday. The results: she hasn't changed, just got bigger.

Height: 25.75 in. (50th percentile, just like at 4 months)
Weight: 13 LBS. 10.5 OZ. (10th percentile, just like at 4 months)
Developmental: on track (she doesn't want to intimidate the other babies with her genius just yet)

One thing our doctor said about her development was that her waking up at night was overdue and it is time to teach her to sleep through the night. Color me naive, but I was hoping she would just figure that out on her own.

She was doing well with sleeping at night up until about a month ago (she'd only wake up about once a night), and then we went on vacation and then came home and started using the baby monitor so I could hear her over the AC unit we installed. I look back and realize I just should have listened to Nick and believe that if she really needed us, we would hear her. Blast!

So last night was night one of letting Aly cry and not go in with her or feed her. We hope this training doesn't take too long because, frankly, that was the worst night sleep ever! I laid awake listening to her and then when I was almost asleep I would feel guilty that my baby was crying and I wasn't doing anything for her. I know the end result will be wonderful, but I think our stubborn little girl is going to give us a bumpy ride!

PS Remember that Flinstone's Vitamin Commercial? Ya know what would work--a piano bench! If those kids were really smart they'd ask mom for one of those!

Music Monday

2011-08-29T15:40:00.000-06:00

I Am a Blackened Banana: A Memoir

2011-08-23T16:48:00.001-06:00

I read this great blog (my go-to for a lot of fashion tips), and the author began this guest author segment called Beauty-ful Tuesday. I thought just in case I am asked to include my thoughts on beauty, I'd like to be prepared. Here are my thoughts for the day.

I feel like my life has been a lesson on acceptance. Whether that's accepting my body, my face, my circumstances, or just accepting others and everything that goes with them. Some situations and people are easy to accept and love and it's just a natural kind of connection, other things take work. (i.e. Accepting my long, thick, blond hair is fairly easy; accepting my dysfunctional ovaries is a bit more challenging.) Some days I go to sleep at night wishing I'll wake up as a size 6 with clear skin (which explains the inordinate amount of skin remedies I have in the bathroom cabinets). Then I wake up and start my day disappointed with myself. Too often I spend my time trying to figure out how to balance changing the person I am into who I want to be and accepting the person that I am right now and spit in that skinny, clear-skinned girls face (nobody likes skinny, clear-skinned girls anyway).

Surprisingly, I think I've been doing it wrong.

To accept something means you take it as it is, and are happy. But, acceptance is no way to treat something that you interact with everyday, that you can control (to some extent), and that is eternal. My body, my beauty, does not need acceptance from me. It needs to be embraced! When I think of the people that are easiest for me to accept and admire, I realize acceptance is only the beginning of those relationships. I embrace those people. I want them to envelope me with their beauty, excitement, and wonder. I want to be surrounded by each of them so completely because they inspire me to develop qualities that I already have into characteristics of the person I hope to someday become.

From now on, I think I'll try to first accept my imperfect beauty of today, and embrace my potential beauty of eternity. Accept then embrace, the latter of which means (to me) doing all I can to develop, strengthen, and transform today's imperfect beauty into a perfected beauty that I can truly be proud of.

Isn't that what eternity is for? To improve and perfect what we have been given? And just because my beauty isn't perfected yet does not mean that I don't have all the ingredients inside of me already to get me there.

Giving up on my beauty now would be like throwing out some blackened bananas because their beauty is not obviously there. I am a blackened banana: full of over-ripe potential preparing to make some delicious banana bread!

But not banana nut bread. Nobody likes nuts in their bread; dysfunctional ovaries; or skinny, clear-skinned girls. Okay, I maybe wrong about the girls, but I stand by the nut-thing. And the ovaries.

***Just to be clear, if I ever write an auto-biography, I call dibs on the title

"I Am a Blackened Banana: A Memoir". Respect the dibs!***

Music Monday

2011-08-22T07:00:00.005-06:00

Every once in a while I like to explore Amazon's Free MP3 Downloads including their up-and-coming artists. Yesterday this song was on there and I really liked the feel of it. The more I listen to it, the more I love it. The artist is Barnaby Bright (married couple, love it) and the song is Gravity.

Below are the lyrics, and I don't know that I understand all of them, but I'm very interested in exploring them further. Nick is in California this week, and I don't know, this song just makes a lot of sense today. "One alone is only half the heat."

And can I be the first to say that this dude is a wicked-awesome guitar player. Seriously!

I've tried I've tried everything I know
Anything to let you go
But I just keep on sinking
I lied when I said I was alright
I'm anything but alright
I am anything but winning
Take your world off my shoulders
Weight is breaking me
Into pieces it's colder
One alone is only half the heat
Take my brain from your fingers
And throw it at the sea
Then drop it from a high place
drop it from a high place

It's only gravity, gravity
Something strong is pulling me, gravity

We cried, … as I fell into the moon
You cried for me I cried for you
We said everything would stay as
You've tried, you tried everything
Anything to save my soul
I'm not sure that it's worth saving

Take your world off my shoulders
Weight is breaking me
Into pieces it's colder
One alone is only half the heat
Take my brain from your fingers
And throw it at the sea
Then drop it from a high place
drop it from a high place
Let it fall

It's only gravity, gravity
Something strong is pulling me, gravity
Gravity, … gravity.

Fun with Friends

2011-08-19T07:00:00.002-06:00

Aly and I were busy on Tuesday watching and playing with our friend Molly whose Mom is a doula and will be taking advantage of our awesomeness while she is working.

We are happy to help out a friend in need, especially one who is so...

considerate...

conscientious...

careful...

kind...

cool...

cute...

and a quality friend!

Adventures in Oatmeal

2011-08-17T21:51:00.000-06:00

We've mentioned before that Alexa is eating oatmeal these days. As she's getting older she is getting more and more insistent on feeding herself - or at least trying. Here are some highlights from her recent attempts to get that yummy oatmeal into her mouth.

Sometimes oatmeal requires intense concentration....

Sometimes you taste the bitterness of defeat....

Sometimes you experience the thrill of victory...

But whatever happens it's always an adventure.

Book Review: The Four Loves

2011-08-17T14:47:00.000-06:00

If you are looking for an easy read, this is not your book. C.S. Lewis once again delivers a truck full of thought-provoking musings in The Four Loves. Originally I thought it would be a nice quick read since it was only 141 pages, but each page was so packed it took longer to get through. It's non-fiction, and not necessarily one of his classics, but overall very good.

The book is essentially a long essay on love and the different types of love we have for different people in our lives. The only big downside was that Lewis is very smart and extremely well-read, and he assumes you are also and does not give you any citations or references, which I would have loved. It's very interesting and full of fantastic one-liners, like all of his books are, including the following:

"Those who do not love the fellow-villagers or fellow-townsmen whom they have seen are not likely to have got very far towards loving "Man" whom they have not" (p. 24).

"A false transcendence is given to things which are very much of this world" (p. 29).

"Affection opens our eyes to goodness we could not have seen, or should not have appreciated without it" (p. 37).

"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities" (p. 71).

"We have reached the stage at which nothing is more needed than a roar of old-fashioned laughter" (p. 98).

"Nothing is falser than the idea that mockery is necessarily hostile. Until they have a baby to laugh at, lovers are always laughing at each other" (p. 107).

"The only place outside Heaven where you can perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell" (p. 121).

"We cannot see light, but by light we can see all things" (p. 126).

Okay, sorry, that's plenty. I really did like this book, although it stretched me a quite a bit intellectually. I am going to give it

★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

I have already started and gotten well into my next book, the first for the book club I started, which is Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. I am so excited to share this book with you very soon as it is so far, super awesome!

Happiness is...Ice Cream Sandwiches!

2011-08-16T21:35:00.000-06:00

I got me one killer instinct sweet tooth.

It would seem I have passed that curse onto my daughter.

It's both a blessing and a curse, Piglet.

Music Monday

2011-08-15T21:31:00.000-06:00

When Rachel introduced me to this song from The Avett Brothers called "Murder in the City", the song below certainly wasn't what I was expecting. It is a simple, sweet little reminder that we should "always remember there was nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."

Book Review Star Rating System

2011-08-09T11:38:00.005-06:00

I am going to do another book post tomorrow, and I thought it would be a good idea to give you a bit more detail on my 5-star rating system:

★: did not finish the book due to its lame-ness. It got printed, but that's all I can say for it. Usually there's some fundamental perspective barrier between the author and myself that prevents me from connecting to what's going on in the story. (examples: When a Crocodile Eats the Sun: A Memoir of Africa; Eat, Pray, Love--the movie is better)

★★: didn't like it, but finished it, and would not recommend. May try the book again in a different setting to see if it was me or the book. (examples: Phantom of the Opera, Matched)

★★★: liked it, not earth shattering, but enjoyed the read. Would recommend depending on my mood. (examples: Sing Me to Sleep, 33 Men)

★★★★: really liked it, and would recommend in a heartbeat! May purchase if the price on Amazon is good. (examples: Ella Minnow Pea, Outliers)

★★★★★: absolutely loved it! Will probably buy it and keep it on my shelf so I can read it anytime I want. The book caused me to change my perspective or behavior in life and is on the top of my recommend list. (examples: March, Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust, and The Hiding Place)

I hope that helps as I plan on doing a lot of book reviews in the future on the blog. And if you have any recommendations for me, or Nick, or Alexa who both also like to read, please share!

A Beautiful View

2011-08-09T10:52:00.002-06:00

One thing our little Piglet has always been fascinated with is trees. She loves to look at them when we go on walks or lay in the grass.

The trees are quite beautiful,

but frankly, I think the trees get a much more beautiful view!

Music Monday: Worth the Wait

2011-08-08T10:48:00.003-06:00

I've been texting back and forth with Ray, Piglet's birth father today. He called Nick her father, and let me tell ya, that never gets old. This man bowed out of that role so Nick could have it...actually, it wasn't for Nick. It was for Alexa.

He bowed out so Alexa could have Nick as her father. So many things about having her in our home with her birth family have been definitely worth the wait!

The song I picked was written for another adoptive couple and the music is here (it's not on the market yet), and the lyrics are below. Beautiful stuff!

Post Script: The author of the song gave me the link for the embed code, so here it is!

Worth the Wait | Online Karaoke

Worth the Wait

Waiting…Believing

Wanting…Pleading

Counting all the tries

Wondering just how many times it’s gonna take

And thinking that this better be

Worth the Wait

Dreaming…Finally Finding

Planning…Buying

Counting down the weeks

Wishing somehow I could speed up all these days

And hoping that it’ll be

Worth the Wait

After all the hours that seemed like days and all the days that seemed like years

Well time will tell and time will heal and time has finally brought you here

Holding…Feel like flying

Laughing…Crying

We made it all the way

And now tomorrow is today, it finally came

And now I’m knowing it was totally

Worth the Wait

After all the hours that seemed like days and all the days that seemed like years

Well time will tell and time will heal and time has finally brought you here

Lovin’ You

Is my wildest wait come true

And I’d do it all all over

Cuz baby you know you were

Worth the wait

You were worth the wait

Wake Up, Farm!

2011-08-05T11:58:00.000-06:00

This is one of Piglet's new favorite books from Grandma Nelson. Piglet got so excited reading it with Grandma that she ripped off the duck's foot on the back page with the pop-up (not pictured because Piglet is sleeping and the book is in her room.)

Anyway, I think she may like it because she, like the animals on the farm, just love waking up! She thinks Daddy and I are heroes for coming and rescuing her from her crib and swaddle, which she has usually destroyed by the time we get in there. These pictures were for Melissa who wanted to see a great big smile, but I thought you guys might want to see them, too! Not the biggest smile I've gotten for getting her out of bed, but not bad. She is so cute, right?

Speaking of waking up, Piglet did not wake up until about 6am and then drank a little, slept a little, drank a little more, and then went down for a real nap at 9am! I'll count that as sleeping through the night, so woo hoo!

#29: Buy a Bracelet

2011-08-05T10:02:00.001-06:00

While on a shopping excursion I discovered some great bracelets at Charlotte Russe and Forever 21, so not only did I buy "a bracelet" to check off my 101 in 1001 goal, but I bought 13, and all for only about $6.00! Now to venture out of green and blue...

2/50 Books to Read in a Year

2011-08-02T09:40:00.003-06:00

Yes, I know I'm getting really behind in this goal. But I'm nothing if not determined when it comes to meeting ridiculous goals I set for myself.

It's a gift.

Anyway, the second book I read this year was Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, and I have mixed feelings about this read.

First, I am glad I read it.
Second, I would not recommend it to anyone else.
Third, I think reading classic stories is good for the soul, even though in this case the story is a classic, not the printed version. In short, the movie/musical is way better than the book, which I don't know how I feel about thinking that. I think that makes me un-literary...not exactly what I'm going for here.

One reason I had a difficult time with the book was because it is written in a format I am not used to reading in, so throughout the book I was just constantly confused. Leroux writes from a Story-teller perspective, not a narrator perspective like I thought, which was confusing. He kept inserting his opinions into the story and I kept thinking "you're writing the story, of course your opinion is the one that's right!" It was, like I said, confusing and frustrating to read.

But I am glad I read it, mostly because I'm not convinced that any experience, especially a reading experience, is gone to waste.

This book may go into the category with The Odyssey, The Great Gatsby, and The Scarlett Letter that I've read but didn't appreciate and so would like to try again in a future, more self-matured setting.

★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

I've already started reading my next book which is fairly short but very intense! It's The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis and so far, about halfway through, it's fantastic! I am going to need a simple good read after this one though. My brain hurts.

By the by, I completed one of my 101 in 1001 goals and started a book club near my house! Our first meeting is September 2nd and we will be reading Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. I already ordered my copy from Amazon and am so excited and proud of myself! Yay for goal-setting that involves friends!

Music Monday

2011-08-01T15:48:00.002-06:00

We all had a fantastic time at the family reunion, and one of the highlights was the family dance. We had everything from Miley Cyrus to N*Sync to Michael Jackson to Simon and Garfunkel. Seriously off the charts! One sad thing about it though was that I realized that I am no longer cool and hip. All the kids were bouncing to the above song, and I wanted to join them, but I was so out of place and had never even heard the song before.

Sad realization. Awesome new song to me. And here's another song I didn't know, but that one 4-year old there was able to sing all the words to. He's young and hip, and I'm not.

"La la la, it doesn't matter, La la la..."

We Are Family, I Got All My In-Laws with Me!

2011-07-26T07:00:00.000-06:00

Okay, not ALL my in-laws, but many of them.

Anyway, we're in Arizona this week at a reunion with Nick's family and are so excited to be here! We've got Pinewood Derby races, softball games, dancing, eating, talking, playing, and just generally a good time in store!

Have I mentioned recently how much I love my in-laws? Probably not recently enough, so here it is: I love my in-laws! Such wonderful people, every last one of them!

So, this will be the last post you see from me until Sunday or Monday, depending on my mood and availability. We'll be sure to post plenty of pictures once we get back. As a little taste, I helped make my first Pinewood Derby car, and we named it The Yellow Dart.

An extra 5 points to anyone who knows where we got the idea for the name from.

We will leave you with these happy pictures of Alexa being tickled into delirious happiness by her Daddy. See you soon!

Music Monday

2011-07-25T07:00:00.003-06:00

As part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days I'm listening to every song in iTunes. I created a playlist with all my songs and ordered them by album. Now, whenever I'm listening to music, I have that one going.

I'm on track 134 of 2,260. Only 2,127 to go. The song is 3 Doors Down, Life of My Own. But that's not my Music Monday song.

The song I'd like to share was discovered during my music exploration session. It's Counting Crows, Chelsea.

And don't worry about the words so much...because it's Counting Crows they really don't make sense. It's more of the feeling of the music. I love the chill jazzy-ness. Enjoy!

A Cleanliness Confession

2011-07-22T12:28:00.002-06:00

I'm kinda ashamed to admit this, but here it goes:

I pretty much always have a clean house.

That feels really good to get off my chest.

The past few days I've let things slip a little, which means 4 un-ironed shirts on the couch and a basket of unfolded laundry in the living room. A couple small clutter piles on the counter-tops, but that's really about it.

So last night I spent an hour and a half after I put Alexa to sleep to tidy the place up. It's addicting because as one thing gets put away, it feels so good and I want to do more!

I am more than slightly embarrassed by this seemingly good obsession because some of the best moms I know throw cleanliness to the side and instead go on grand adventures with their children, teach them how to do wonderful and exciting things, and are so bushed by the end of the day that there is no energy left to clean.

I'd like to be more like that. In fact, I actually had a previous post all written up where I took pictures of my little piles of messes around my house to prove that it's not always clean, to convince myself that I can throw cleanliness to the wind and be as random and spontaneous as these other great moms I know. (Especially blogging moms. It seems the first thing blogging moms honestly admit to the blogosphere is that their house is not always clean.)

But the fact is, most of the time things are pretty tidy around here. Maybe things will change as Alexa gets older, but I really don't think so. She already helps to put her toys away.

Alexa and I rarely get out of the house. Any out of the house activity can only last about an hour, and then it's nap time again, so it's just easier to stay home and let her roll around on the floor with me and her "frienemies," a.k.a. her toys and stuffed animals. She has just as much fun doing that, and I love it, too. We do go out a few times a week to the park or on a walk, but the time spent outside the home is pretty minimal. Not a whole lot of adventuring around here, I am sorry to say.

So, for me, a clean house is essential to maintain my sanity. Since I spend most of my time here, and relax on occasion (which was the problem last night--I wanted to read but the shirts needing to be ironed were in my reading spot), then things have to be tidy.

This maybe a surprise to say anyone that knew me circa 1986-2006, but getting married and making a goal to "never go to bed with a dirty or messy house" while on our honeymoon really helped. There's nothing quite like waking up to an empty couch and no dishes in the sink. It's a fresh start to a new day.

I'd like to say I'm a cool, adventurous mom, but for now, I'm learning to accept myself as the mom who is teaching her 5-month old how to put her bottle in the sink when she's done eating.

Super cool, I know.

I'm starting to explore black and white photo-ing, and I thought the low color contrast of these would be a good place to start.

A Moment of Silence...

2011-07-22T11:56:00.001-06:00

...for Borders who, after 40 years, filed for bankruptcy and closing its doors.

Sad day.

via

I admit, however, I haven't been inside a Borders for years, as most books that I purchase come from Amazon. Nonetheless, it's sad Aly will grow up in a world without Borders.

Sad indeed. Even though closing sales begin today, I simply cannot participate or relish that this means they'll be gone soon. Too sad.

Happiness is...Tongues

2011-07-21T10:24:00.000-06:00

This is one of Alexa's favorite games! Check out the length on the tongue! DANG!

Parents in 9 Months...I Mean Days!

2011-07-20T13:11:00.000-06:00

That's right, we had 9 days to prepare for Alexa's birth. And frankly, we wasted a couple of them because just a week earlier our hearts had been broken, so we were a bit jaded and didn't really grasp the insanity of everything until a few days after we got the news. Anyway, here's a story about a family who had even less time. What cool people, I'd love to meet them someday.

And they're right, blood doesn't make a bit of difference. She's theirs, and Aly is ours.

Also, if you were curious, she will be ours legally on September 20th, and eternally ours on October 8th! The countdown begins...

Happy 50th Birthday, Mom!

2011-07-19T21:25:00.000-06:00

To celebrate your amazingness, we've come up with 50 things we should have thanked you for but probably never did, or at least deserves another Thank You.

Mom, thank you for...

1. all those sleepless nights with me as a baby, especially with all those ear infections.
2. sewing up my Yellow Blankie after years of love and neglect (interesting how those come together).
3. passing on your beautiful smile and hair color to me (could have done without the Gosnell nose, but I'll deal).
4. making me a scrapbook of my childhood and then crying as you finished it while dad and you drove me to BYU.
5. that one time that you packed Judson a dinner of fried chicken because he had been at school all day and didn't have a dinner. It meant a lot to me that you cared so much about my friend.
6. my awesome 18th birthday party and letting my friends and I get into that crazy food fight.
7. letting me play roller hockey even though I was small and had no skill for it at all.
8. not letting me play ice hockey. I probably would have gotten killed.
9. teaching me how to divide using piano keys. Nothing else worked, but octaves, those made sense.
10. encouraging me to learn all those instruments. Seriously, the drums, trumpet, and violin were only the beginning. No wonder you have a hearing loss.

11. getting me a 1/16 size violin and making that drive out to Aumsville many times to get custom-size violins for my miniature body.
12. letting me take private violin lessons for a year...when I was 5...and really didn't need private lessons.
13. listening to "The DAD Song" far too many times!
14. attending so many concerts, recitals, performances, games, and award ceremonies.
15. motivating me to get a hit in softball with slurpees. Totally worked!
16. keeping the house stocked with my favorite things whenever I come home to visit.
17. the packages of Cheez-Its and Hot Tamales you sent to me while in college.
18. buying all those flowery stretch pants that I refused to wear because they were too girly.
19. forcing me to take baths when I really didn't want to between the ages of 4 and 11.
20. allowing me to choose fried chicken, creamed spaghetti, and pink salad for a birthday dinner.

21. allowing me to choose Cinnamon Toast Crunch for my birthday breakfast.
22. decorating my birthday chair with balloons and streamers every year.
23. driving to California for such un-Godly lengths of time while we slept or fought or sang in the back. I tried to watch the road with you once because if you had to do it, so would I. It didn't last.
23. throwing me a clown party for my 4th birthday...I think it was my 4th.
24. trusting me enough to not give me a curfew, and complying without question when I asked for one.
25. making my prom dress even though I was super grouchy when the top was a bit big. I was rude and ungrateful and I'm sorry.
26. passing on your love for music and beautiful voice to me.
27. getting Scripture Scouts. One of your best investments.
28. waking up before seminary to french braid my hair even though you were battling arthritis in your hands and fingers.
29. not taking me back to Super Cuts after the little flappy-hair-mullet incident.
30. allowing me to get a perm--now I know to never make that mistake with my kids! ;)

31. asking the nurse to switch my I.V. to my left hand so I could suck my thumb on my right hand.
32. letting Daddy and us sing Jr. Birdman at the dinner table.
33. putting me in charge of hanging the garland across the dining room doorway at Christmas time.
34. putting me in charge of Cindy and Jen one time when you left us home alone...another thing I know not to do with my kids! ;)
35. letting me choose whether or not to go to the Snowball dance when I was only 14, and then consoling me when my date ditched me at the dance. I learned my lesson.
36. painting that mural on my bedroom wall. All moms need a creative outlet.
37. buying me the more expensive Under Armor undershirt for softball--I still use it fairly often.
38. coming and staying with us to watch Aly when I had to go back to work.
39. hanging onto my wedding dress...I really am going to get that from you soon!
40. essentially planning our reception with Nick's mom. I really shouldn't have put that on you guys, but you accepted and achieved the challenge with grace and it was beautiful.

41. making sure we drank milk at the reception. Classic.
42. seeing that bum outside of 7-11, going home and getting a loaf of bread, and bringing it back to him. He wasn't there, but that bread was just as much for me as it was for him.
43. letting us eat cereal for dinner on occasion. It was probably because you didn't want to make dinner (understandable), but it sure was a lot of fun!
44. not killing us when we would call you at work because of some little squabble we were having at home.
45. not killing us when you were dead on your feet and we all came rushing out to meet you at the car to tell you about a squabble we were having.
46. not killing us.
47. telling me the story of my birth about a billion times. It was my favorite bedtime story.
48. making Nick feel like a member of the family by complimenting him on the way he mixes juice.
49. doing your best to teach me how to cook and sew even though I really didn't want to. Except for slicing, cracking, and boiling eggs. That's always fun.
50. filling my life with far more than 50 things I have to be grateful for.

We love you, Mom, and hope your 51st...I mean 48th...year is the best one yet!

Living Up to My Privileges

2011-07-13T15:38:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I spent a lot of my time making excuses for myself. Creating reasons why things were not cleaned, or ironed, or cooked, or read, or done was not the kind of daily creative energy I want to be putting forth. I had some good moments, but far too many excuses.

And none of this "you're a new mom, don't be so hard on yourself" nonsense. My baby takes naps, so at the very least I could be using that time to be productive instead of casually taking an hour to make and eat lunch and then another hour waiting and worrying Alexa will wake-up far before she should. It's silly nonsense, and it needs to stop.

This declaration is accompanied with many goals I have set for myself on a daily basis, and I can never seem to get all of them accomplished. So then my question for myself is: Am I a perfectionist that asks to much of myself or am I simply not living up to my privileges?

Perhaps a little of both, but honestly, and unfortunately, I think it's far more the latter.

I mean, how many women do you know have a Master's degree and get to be a stay-at-home mom? I can only think of one, which may reflect my lack of knowledge of my friends' educational backgrounds, but I think it also means I am one blessed little lady. I love to learn and read and should be sharing that love with my daughter through my own literary pursuits as well as reading with her more often.

How many people do you know who have parents and in-laws who have strong, stable, and committed marriages? What a blessing this is to have two sets of parents who love their spouse, family, and God to thrive in a marital relationship for nearly 30 years each! I should be applying their expertise, knowledge, and examples in my everyday life.

Just these two sets of privileges require me to make some decisions on good, better, and best ways to spend my time. Seriously, how often do I need to check Facebook, play with Pinterest, read blogs, and watch movies or TV shows on Netflix or Hulu? Not nearly as often as I have been, that's for sure. I feel like there's so much more to say, but let's save some action for future posts. I will leave you with this thought that's been rolling through my mind lately:

Music Monday

2011-07-11T07:30:00.000-06:00

New artist/song discovery. The original song was sang by her and a short duet with her and Bing can be heard here. I prefer this version though. How can you not be happy listening to this? Both ladies' works can be purchased on Amazon.

Happiness is... Aly's New Favorite Game

2011-07-09T22:22:00.001-06:00

Our little Piglet is getting to a very fun stage where she likes to play with us. Before when we tried to tickle her or blow on her tummy, she didn't really get the joke. Now she not only gets the joke but loves it.

The Family is of God

2011-07-07T13:00:00.006-06:00

One of my dear friends from BYU asked me to help her with a lesson about how I use/d Christ's atoning sacrifice to help me through my infertility struggles. This is what I wrote:

Homesick is the best way I know how to describe the pains of infertility. It’s just this aching of wanting to be with the people you love and yet have no power over making that union happen. That’s how I felt for 5 years of wanting children and not being able to bear them. The powerless feeling that I felt over my family and my body was awful, but what made it worse was that I knew this desire was righteous and what the Lord wanted me to be doing. So I was homesick for my babies, frustrated because I couldn’t do anything about it, and confused because I thought God wasn’t doing anything about it either. I felt this way for what seemed like a very long time.

Many talks and reminders from the Spirit helped me through this challenging time in my life, and the chorus of a fairly new Primary song was one of those reminders:

“God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be--
This is how He shares His love, for the family is of God.”

I loved that song the first time I heard it, but it took a while to have it sink in enough for me to realize that because families are of God, He is going to take care of mine. I don’t have to be afraid that I would never have children, or afraid that my prayers were not being heard, or afraid that God had forgotten about me, or afraid that my wonderful husband would never get to be a dad because of my silly ovaries. I did not have to live in fear because I could move forward with faith that families, and their purposes, are of God, and not of me. I did not have to fear because God provided a way for our family to be together forever, and that way is through Christ and His atonement.

The Savior atoned so I could live with faith and find joy even though I could not understand why my righteous desires were not being fulfilled when and how I wanted them to be. The Savior atoned so that I can be with my husband and beautiful adopted daughter in the temple to be sealed as a family for all eternity. The Savior atoned so I could understand more fully how much God loves me and is aware of me and my family. The Savior atoned so my tears, sorrow, pain, homesickness, and fear of infertility did not keep me from returning to Heavenly Father, but in fact helped me become the person I need to be to get me there.

Thank you, Aubrey for the opportunity to write this out and explore my feelings and convictions about my gratitude for my infertility more deeply!

If you have any questions about anything I just wrote, please feel free to leave a comment, email us, or visit our church's website.

Tuesday Tunes

2011-07-05T07:00:00.001-06:00

A Song that Makes You Laugh:

Nick and I love this song only because it sounds like a 14 year old wrote the lyrics. We call this song "our favorite song ever" because it is so true!

A Song that You Can Play on an Instrument:

Both parts on the violin. Boo Yah.

A Song that You Wish You Could Play:

I wish I could play this song for my mom. She's always wanted me to learn it, but it's SUPER HARD!

A Song that Makes You Feel Guilty:

It reminds me of this dude from high school that I was good friends with and we liked each other but he wouldn't date me because I was under 16. Then, a month before my 16th birthday, I started dating this other guy and did so for 2 years. The first guy told me how disappointed he was in my decision and eventually fell away from the church. So sad, and so guilty.

A Song From Your Childhood:

This played from a little green cassette tape via a small toy cassette tape player. It looked similar to this one. I love this set of songs, so if anyone knows where I can buy it, please let me know!

Your Favorite Song at This Time Last Year:

Music Monday: Happy 4th of July!

2011-07-04T13:37:00.000-06:00

1/50 Books to Read in a Year

2011-07-03T19:01:00.004-06:00

Well, in just less than 2 weeks I read my first book of 50 I want to read in a year, meaning I need to pick up the pace. I started out with Sing Me to Sleep by Angela Morrison.

It was a beautiful read, juvenile, but as it is a teen book I suppose that makes sense. A truly lovely, romantic, and heart-felt story about a beast turned beauty through the power of love and song. A must-read for any teenage/young adult girl who loves music and a great love story! It's a cross between Beauty and the Beast and Phantom of the Opera, both referenced within the book, and the latter is the next book on my read list. So far, it's great!

I liked it about as much as I liked any of the Twilight books, so I'll give it

★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

By the way, the author is my aunt-in-law, and she gave me a copy of all of her books, signing each of them as "Aunt Annie;" some of my favorite gifts! She has also written a trilogy Taken By Storm, Unbroken Connection, and Cayman Summer which I am excited to read later on in my year.

A Song You Want Played at Your Funeral

2011-06-29T09:53:00.000-06:00

Okay, not seriously, but I think it would be funny!

But for reals, I think I'd like this song sang by someone at my funeral, ideally sang by this man:

Aly's First Experience with Food

2011-06-28T22:53:00.000-06:00

Our little Piglet has been sucking down formula like a champ since literally minutes after she was born, but in our last visit to the doctor, our new pediatrician Dr. J (yes that's actually what he's called by his office staff and nurses) recommended that we start trying to feed Aly baby oatmeal. The main purpose is to get her used to the idea of eating from something other than a bottle, but the oatmeal should also help her mess her pants a little more often. As parents we're thrilled for more poppy diapers, but we decided to go for it. Today Rachel fed Aly her first spoonfuls of food and this is how it went.

Okay, so she's not exactly a natural when it comes to eating, but at least she keeps it interesting.

Tuesday Tunes: A Song That You Want to Play at Your Wedding

2011-06-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

I've already shared with you the only two songs that were played at our wedding here and here, but if I were to plan our wedding today, I would have more dancing and definitely bust a move to this song.

A Temporary Cleansing

2011-06-27T12:59:00.002-06:00

Last night before bed I caught myself reading our blessing book entries from back in January.

What? You don't know what a blessing book is? It's our nightly journal where we say at least one thing that happened that we recognized the hand of the Lord in our lives that day.

What? You don't know what happened in January? That was when our failed adoption happened. Those posts seemed like a lifetime ago...and it has only been 6 months!

***Just as a side note, I hate that term: failed adoption. It sounds so bummer-ish and depressing. I'll be brainstorming a new phrase that reflects my feelings about the experience more accurately. TBA***

Back to last night: for the first time since Alexa's birth I kinda longed for that other little girl that I prayed to be ours for months. I had prayed her mom would choose adoption and choose us. Not that I would exchange Alexa, just I wanted them both! How selfish, right?

Well, it's how I felt. And then I told Nick, "I want Aly to have a sister...like now." And then I wanted to get pregnant, like yesterday. And then I felt that twinge of heartache knowing that I couldn't just "do the deed" and have a sister for Aly in me. Of course it's possible, but it hasn't happened in 5 years, and I really try not to get caught up in those thoughts because, even though I'm a mom, they still make me sad.

Those little reminders of my infertility have been hurting more often lately, like friends being pregnant or having baby showers while pregnant. They're reminders of a former life before motherhood, which feels like an eternity ago, and I don't particularly like it. They make me feel ungrateful for the life and experiences I have had because of my infertility. The people I have met and loved and love and will love forever.

So this post is a temporary cleansing of those feelings, because I think they'll creep up again. But for now, I am grateful that to the right of my laptop is a bowl with a little milk leftover from breakfast, a teething ring, an empty bottle, and a dirty receiving blanket. All because of adoption.

And I find myself grateful for my infertility. And my sisters.